Wednesday, January 17, 2007

She and the Reflex of Mortals at Chestnut Run


Marguerite of Horatius
Sun-streaked auburn hair,
tanned shoulders with the beginnings of a burn, dappled with dew

La tuffatrice in volo
She is not Icarus.
She aims for the sea --
to arrive there in perfect pitch from the sky.


She stands, hands pointing north and south
toes on the edge
back to the brink

A slight bend in the knees
a taut bob of the arms
starting momentum

With an arch of her neck, her body springs -- upward... outward...
...airborne...

Over the precipice her frame arcs into the sky
Seemingly out of the sun
circumvolving in slo-mo
heels over head over heels
almost perfect...
almost...

The rotation a hair from completion
when her nape nicks the crag
from where she leapt

one split-second

and the reflexes of mortal men kick in

Bodies in motion are in flight before she even touches the water
Simultaneous splashes
and arms are there to gird her dazed form...
lifting... upward through the sea

All at the surface
and only seconds have elapsed.
Marguerite draws a breath
and the rest of us can release ours.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Primate Unstable


Monkey Jr. makes a rare cameo appearance -- the first since his debut in 1982.

It may be said that the discernible presence of venal subhuman tendencies in humans is more evident now in the present atmosphere of lax media mores and an ‘anything goes’ wink-and-nod climb up the social ladder.
The highly demanding chore of fomenting sincere affective bonds within one’s socio-economic habitat has been resulting in self-interest behaviours that parallel anti-social development that risks a pivotal brink-slide into full Pink Boy freebootery.
An urgent point to be made then is that the potential societal languor that would result from this outgrowth demands a containment contingency best addressed by a joint strategic pungeoning confutation.
A covert psychological facilitant is needed to expose the inherent ‘identity nakedness’ polemic of Pink tendencies. Thus, an acute Type I proximate pungeoning methodology should be implemented to best address potentially deviant Pink ideologies and the resulting effect they would have upon the existing societal matrix.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Notes from the Field: Down at the Farm CCLV

• Atrocious macramé vests. Daggy earthtone pantaloons. Frumpy pullovers caked with cat fur. And feet.

Are these couture choices an intentional rejection of ‘style?’ If so, isn’t this still a ‘style’ in itself? An ‘anti-aesthetic’ of stale irony? Shaggy, subdued outré? Is this sartorial anti-formalism even a conscious effort?
Perhaps it’s a null factor fashion achromatopsia -- blindness to these sorts of things since birth. Still, you’d think their friends would tell them how to dress better.
Either way, it is an eyesore as much as the Five Points trophy wives who mismatch their spotted animal prints with striped ones.


• Salt ‘n’ Pepper Munch: “Carpet’s gray for a reason,” says Fake Nick. Well? What’s the reason? Gray matter?

• Dutch points out that the livestock are treated well in the organic process.
“They’re nice to the animals. They feed candy canes to the cows. Natural irrigation and fertilisation, too.” Okay.

• And across the patio, still sore over age-old mourning transgressions, is Ray, angry, drunk and shaking the fence. Is he trying to get in or get out of this terroir?
So much for this place being hormone-free.

• Dutch, again: “Snooty hippie commune/cartel” attitudes that frown upon noisy neighbours while simultaneously ignoring their own germophobic minstrels and other foisted ‘entertainment’ that amounts to a ‘sonic unwelcome.’

• Tai-Chi at Happy Hour.

• White guys rapping to Dido.

You get the idea.

What is one to say of these tired, displayed pretensions?

How about, “E-I-E-I-Oh.”

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Welcome to Classic City.


• Spot the Insecure White Dude with dreadlocks pubcrawling for credibility.
• Spot the Pandering Commissioner with power issues feeding bourgeois fears.
• Spot the Bored Bluehair spending her way into Tuna Salad Stupor.
• Spot the Clueless Retailer rusting widgets before impatient customers.


Don’t see them? They’ve been under our noses for a long enough time. It’s not like they’re wearing that Predator-style inviso-armor jazz. That would be funny though.

Actually, that wouldn’t be cool at all.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

S.A.R.C. Proxy 103099A — Rotting Carapace



Self-Administered Reality Check for 2000 involved deterioration of the Hive’s collective mind, non-binding anti-inflammatory propaganda, and brain mumming. The nest yield of +7.33 was a result of Dead Palate: the local APF Clench was successful.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Nubi per le seppie


Aerosol the Cuttlefish: The attitude in the pungeonary continues to set a new standard for our program as this year's new squad carries the torch of the Aerosol Faction.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Specimen 5 Post-Mortem Conclusion: Combine Error


Corn-fed commentary from Specimen 6:

Accident was a tactical disadvantage.
• Mismanagement and conflation of disparate conduits of information.
• Devalued memes inflated without holistic context of media reception models.

Case closed.