Backrub Express ...at The Hang

Backrub Express ...at The Hang

Scene veterans engage in deep-tissue reaffirmation at the risk of onlookers' flippant 1990's-style elbow-in-the-rib ironic commentary.

Certain parties are not amused: Naaiir.

"Quick, Skööls -- Pass the Polaroid™!"

Hyenas vs. Children..?

Hyenas vs. Children? Move to Oconee County!

This has been a test of the Emotive Response System. Metaphor misinterpretation reactions of hoggish homeowners and helicopter parents to hyperbolic quippings regarding Parahyaena risum may result in Uptight Flight of so-called H. Sapiens to dubiously secure gated communities. Naturally, the irony is lost on those who cannot even grasp a literal account of “crying wolf.”

Haiku Tribute for Moe Green

DATELINE: Vegas

Casino bigwig
host with all amenities
"Anything's yours, Mike"

Attempt at buyout
all that he built -- sweat & blood
"The nerve! On my turf!"

Made his bones back when
you were dating cheerleaders
frowns at this affront

Staked claim is challenged
still, he proudly stands his ground
bullet-through-eye coup

...That man was Moe Green.

The S.E.W.E.R. at P.I.E.R. O.N.E.

Reluctantly, we must admit that the differences of the nation's social strata are largely self-delineated, and from the ground up.

In our lack of a metaphysical center, we unknowingly breach the Equals () Reflexive Contract (‘x equals x’ is always true) by defining ourselves against What We Are Not; “We are not Joe Suit walking down the street...”; “We are not Billy Bluejeans minding his business...”; “We are not...”, et cetera.

In our underground network of echo chambers, our Arterial Toiling traces loops that go nowhere, while we ironically expect our self-prescribed darkness [’underground,’ ‘darkness,’ ...they’re metaphors, get it?] to manifest our Tender Enlightenment™.
So when we see that our Grand Stance Against The Man adds up to nil, we're forced to crawl forth out of the proverbial gutter, eye all passers-by as Equal Opportunity Targets, and scam accordingly.

• Sclerotic Expectations Warranting Evasion of Reality
• Phoney Insurgents Exuding Rebellions of Narcissistic Emptiness

“It’s kind of like when Bobby Brady idolized Jesse James... You expect kids to go through a phase like this, but grown adults..?!”
Skinner is nonplussed.

Spent Theatrics Addendum: The badge of the Spoiled Uncreative

• Mandatory Irony™
• Trendy Nihilism
• Konspicuous Kitch

The Role Strain that results from these poor long-term self-marketing goals is painfully obvious to 11-year-olds, grannies, and everyone in between whom already know that Reality operates independently of What You Think.

The sad curtain call of ‘Spent Theatrics’

It’s now the future.

Weak slackeroids with stunted emotional bandwidth who’ve dwelled for too long in the all-too-familiar milieu of studied eccentricity have emerged as inarticulé rebelles that are detached from the realities of getting older… and getting a life.
Their shallow fatalism is puzzling, much like how one can both whine and claim to be defiant at the same time.

But in the end, failure should come as no surprise, as shameless piggybacking on youth subculture is more than a subtle indicator of a lack of content… especially when you're going on thirty.

The Bottom Line: Cognitive Disengagement and Poor Self-Marketing has resulted in Role Strain, draining the potential for attainable goals.

Get with the program.
What ‘program’ could you possibly get with?

Nostalgioid Opiate '05: Conversational Hostage

Good manners and feigned interest are all that keep one from fleeing a spotlit scene of vapidity. Even over-obvious clockwatching and exaggerated [ahem]s are lost on our gesticulating subject... who also just happens to be the topic as well.
Alas, your attention is the ransom; your patience, the victim.