Starz at 33

Happy 33rd birthday. By the way, you won't be a star.

You're not the center of attention — even your Mom doesn't care anymore.
Hear that sound? That's the sound of people your age rolling their eyes at you.

The battery in your Social GPS died in 1996, leaving you in the temporal desert with other aging scenesters, striving to make some sort of social claim to stake...
…As if ‘being there at the time’ was simply enough to merit you the status of ‘elder hipster,’ even though you were a mere bystander with nothing to contribute.

It's sad when magenta hides the gray, and de rigueur black masks the dishwater ambivalence of pedestrian opinions you randomly pick up, knowing all-too-well the social risk of positing something lacking in superfluous profundity.