Saturday, April 16, 2016

The Wankening

Young Glen Aludo had an impression to make.
  To get in the good graces of his masters at “The Aitch” social club, ditching his old friends wasn’t enough. And though the TR6 his daddy had given him did raise some envious eyebrows, it was clear that drastic measures were needed to establish himself in the eyes of his new peers.
  It was decided.
  By Jove, it was only Stratum XIV, and weaponised irony was not yet in vogue, but a radical tonsorial approach must be the winning coup de grace: A sapphic haircut on an ostensibly straight male for the purposes of impressing other ostensibly straight males must be the triumphant concept, right? Let it fly.
  And so Glen smugly strolled through campus with new khakis and a fresh new sweater (complete with de rigueur political pin), but what he was most proud of was his new ‘do.’
  Old Techno Aliyah Bernal — one not to mince words — took one look and shook her head.
  “Looks very Helvetican.”
  Her geography might have been slightly off, but the sentiment was unmistakable — The Wankening was now complete.