After the EBB Debris Field Incident, Contagion Drill and “Mission Manqué,” the BubbaCabal was ousted from the Ugandoid Autonomous Prefecture in 1997 by the Allied Pungeoning Front.
Diplomatic relations expedited executive control transfer back to local elders and aside from the cancellation of the PATU-Y2K EBB Summit, all had been running smoothly.
Enter Jayden Gutts, nephew of Orville CEO Johnny Gutts. A score of years has passed and the young man is at the age where he “wants to make a difference” and “give back to the community.” One of his community college professors has urged him to “get involved with third world s***holes” as it would look good on his CV, would give him Conspicuous Charitability cred, and might also get him lucky with some of the earthier co-eds.
Next thing you know Jayden is stepping off his flight onto the tarmac at EBB with arms outstretched, declaring, “Hear I am!” There Gutts announced his candidacy for Grand Gouvernor of the Ugandoid Autonomous Prefecture.
Regarding his platform Jayden Gutts has been rather vague, mouthing platitudes some find curious:
• “We need to be developing better ‘Cred Abilities’ [sic].”
• “Ng’olabye [unintelligible]... deworming tablets... [unintelligible]... dealing with it.”
• “Wulira, y‘all! Everyone knows Dada Seijin is just a misunderstood bachizungu...”
Though candidate Gutts’ campaign has been sanctioned by the APF, both Johnny Gutts and Orville have remained mum regarding any endorsements.
No comments:
Post a Comment