“Pet” Theories with Mrs. Bilcoe

Mrs. Bilcoe’s “I Have Thoughts” column originally ran in the weekly Heritageville Observer from Stratum XXIII-XXIV and was much beloved in the community. Selected columns are reprinted here for your edification.

Look at Mr. Frodley sitting at the window! Isn’t he the cutest?
  But why does this fetching feline make those chattering noises when he sees birds outside his windowsill perch?
  I have thoughts.
  These are sounds cats make to “disguise” themselves from potential prey of theirs. It is the closest that our furry friends can come to mimicking our avian amigos in order to secure optimal proximity to a kill.
  I have this on pretty good authority from my neighbour Egberto, who is an Animal Scientist. (He also mows my lawn.)
  Even though your cats may be spoilt with more than enough kibble servings, they will still make these sounds out of “instinct,” not hunger. I’m just glad there’s glass separating Frodley from his “birdie brunch”!
  ’Later!