“Welcome to the Megis Street Haus, I’m Red Kirksmith. We hope you join us for our Sunday morning Kaffee Klatch, where we sit on the verandah and sip free-range coffee and discuss in dulcet tones the merits of macramé, public radio and complex carbohydrates.
“Oh, and Klaus here? He enjoys nude sunbathing in the back yard, usually with one of his grad students. I wouldn’t recommend it myself unless you want a lecture from him on global warmening though.
“Across the hall here lives Mr Facaro, an uptight misanthrope who is working on his population control dissertation. Did I already say we share similar interests in public radio and tut-tutting undergrads?
“Feel free to make use of this Peruvian hand-woven hammock. You can relax and look down your nose at the Appalachian prole family next door with their nine kids, or smirk at those clove-smoking townies across the street with their dead plant fetish. That’s what we all do.
“Have you met Ungula upstairs yet? She’s an on-air ‘personality’ at our local public radio station! She will marry Mr Facaro and then dump his sorry ass in a bitter divorce while he weeps in the street in his bathrobe. But that won’t happen for another two years.
“Anyway, guys, come to our Kaffee Klatch this Sunday morning — but please bring your own mugs and coffee whitener of your choice. You all do like public radio, don’t you?”
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