A Beloved Institution Closes Its Doors

Citizens of Heritageville are lamenting the recent closure of beloved dining establishment The Gristle. The lingering economic fallout from the ConGaijin-20 pandemic is blamed along with general apathy of the local populace, causing franchise locations to shutter.
  From humble yet hoity beginnings as artsy coffeehouse to culinary powerhouse, The Gristle has seen many ups and downs as well as the lateral vicissitudes inevitable in post-modern outlooks.
  The Gristle is notable for introducing Orville’s Praise,™ the New Food Substitute to a loving public as well as catering large events like the Punge Expo and Heritageville’s 150th Anniversary celebration.
  The popular eatery was not without its share of controversy over the years. Concerns of pedestrian safety were often raised by Gristle patrons and other soyfolk over the annual Princely Avenue Motor Sports Open, but cooler heads and leaden feet usually prevailed. Other contentions arose after an internet food critic decried the ongoing habit of sleeveless Gristle waitrons carrying menus tightly tucked under their upper arms.
  “Who wants their menus to smell like some vegan’s armpits?” went the main beef. But loyal clientele pooh-poohed these concerns as class snobbery: “Hey, it’s not like they have cavemen running your food.”
  The Gristle’s Princely Avenue location — the first to open its doors — was the last to close. The alpha and the omega. Let us raise a chalice of Praise™ in memory and slurp it down with gusto.