Friday, January 12, 2007

Notes from the Field: Down at the Farm CCLV

• Atrocious macramé vests. Daggy earthtone pantaloons. Frumpy pullovers caked with cat fur. And feet.
Are these couture choices an intentional rejection of ‘style?’ If so, isn’t this still a ‘style’ in itself? An ‘anti-aesthetic’ of stale irony? Shaggy, subdued outré? Is this sartorial anti-formalism even a conscious effort?
Perhaps it’s a null factor fashion achromatopsia -- blindness to these sorts of things since birth. Still, you’d think their friends would tell them how to dress better.
Either way, it is an eyesore as much as the Five Points trophy wives who mismatch their spotted animal prints with striped ones.


• Salt ‘n’ Pepper Munch: “Carpet’s gray for a reason,” says Fake Nick. Well? What’s the reason? Gray matter?

• Dutch points out that the livestock are treated well in the organic process.
“They’re nice to the animals. They feed candy canes to the cows. Natural irrigation and fertilisation, too.” Okay.

• And across the patio, still sore over age-old mourning transgressions, is Ray, angry, drunk and shaking the fence. Is he trying to get in or get out of this terroir?
So much for this place being hormone-free.

• Dutch, again: “Snooty hippie commune/cartel” attitudes that frown upon noisy neighbours while simultaneously ignoring their own germophobic minstrels and other foisted ‘entertainment’ that amounts to a ‘sonic unwelcome.’

• Tai-Chi at Happy Hour.

• White guys rapping to Dido.

You get the idea.

What is one to say of these tired, displayed pretensions?

How about, “E-I-E-I-Oh.”

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Welcome to Classic City.


• Spot the Insecure White Dude with dreadlocks pubcrawling for credibility.
• Spot the Pandering Commissioner with power issues feeding bourgeois fears.
• Spot the Bored Bluehair spending her way into Tuna Salad Stupor.
• Spot the Clueless Retailer rusting widgets before impatient customers.


Don’t see them? They’ve been under our noses for a long enough time. It’s not like they’re wearing that Predator-style inviso-armor jazz. That would be funny though.

Actually, that wouldn’t be cool at all.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

S.A.R.C. Proxy 103099A — Rotting Carapace



Self-Administered Reality Check for 2000 involved deterioration of the Hive’s collective mind, non-binding anti-inflammatory propaganda, and brain mumming. The nest yield of +7.33 was a result of Dead Palate: the local APF Clench was successful.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Nubi per le seppie


Aerosol the Cuttlefish: The attitude in the pungeonary continues to set a new standard for our program as this year's new squad carries the torch of the Aerosol Faction.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Specimen 5 Post-Mortem Conclusion: Combine Error


Corn-fed commentary from Specimen 6:

Accident was a tactical disadvantage.
• Mismanagement and conflation of disparate conduits of information.
• Devalued memes inflated without holistic context of media reception models.

Case closed.