Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Munster widow’s peak trumps Spahn Ranch Reject’s drunken hair issues


Minding one’s own business, one will always be happened upon by those in society who feel obligated to opine on any given subject, regardless of alcohol intake.
Specifically, anyone on God’s green earth who maintains proper hygiene and social comport may have to defend the blindsided ramblings of complete strangers who have the cojones to offer their soused, knee-jerk sputterings to the nearest ear.

That being said, the widow’s peak we know as belonging to the Munster son will always trump the Spahn Ranch Reject’s drunken slur regarding follicle issues.

“What’s wrong with your hair? You look like some kinda TV character,” sayeth the Hirsute Sidler.
“Hey, mister. Take you dirty self back to closed-minded California with your other over-rated, preachy primates,” chirped the young one.

Initially, what is one to make of a complete stranger’s astringently soaked aside regarding mere appearances?

A patient pause.

And then... the realization that... that...
...That this off-the-cuff clown is wheezily spouting through a cloud of his own filth, both figuratively and metaphysically.
And this little kid can see through it all.

“You’re twenty years older than me and I can tell you’re just slumming around, sponging off people you suck up to. Get outta my sight, mister.”

At this point, our Mansonesque character erupted with a stream of defensive obscenities meant to intimidate our youngster, but alas, young Munster saw right through it.

“You just blame all your years of fruitless chemical endeavors on The Man without having the balls to own up to being nothing but a scammer peddling bad art and bad song in exchange for Couch Crash Time. And now you pick on a kid. Pathetic. Basically, you just turned 43 and still haven’t realized that you’re the Bringdown in the Mirror.”

Response? Incoherent mutterings and more swearing with a flimsy wave of a soiled hand.
His destiny is set in stone.
So much for Yesteryouth, Actualized.
And this little kid can see through it all.