Jared Gutts Forms Busking Support Network

Jared Gutts, a man with more spare time since his “time-out” after the Baxter Street bio-contamination fiasco, has decided to come to the aid of his fellow “creative types” — buskers and street performers who face public criticism for simply pursuing their dreams.
  It all started with a brusque comment from a passer-by.
  “I was playin’ ‘We Built This City’ on guitar and this Suit pointed at my tip box and asked, ‘Is that money going towards music lessons?’ That was a really harsh thing to say, man.”
  The local culturati are known to fawn over all sorts of artists, but he says it’s all just lip service. “BärteHansa tastemakers prefer even the most talentless to get out there and make noise rather than get a real job. It’s all out of spite against The Man, even though they’ve been The Man for a long time, man.”
  Gutts gets to the point: “I want to help the talentless. I think I’m pretty qualified.”
  Gutts has started the Classic City Busking Support Network to help the talentless in their quest to garner and maintain attention. A clinic on guitar basics is one such service offered.
  “I can show them how to play an ‘E chord.’ You put your middle finger on the second string on the second fret, and then you put your third finger on the first string on the third fret — I mean, on the third string on the second fret... I think.”
  He also has helpful tips for percussion enthusiasts: “I got some bongos from the Potter’s Haus. I learned to keep time by playing along with Guitar Hero and ‘Athenian Idol’ on TV. It’s very geo-cultural.”
  Gutts’ last foray into local politics was a proposed ordinance that would require obese people to walk single file whilst using Classic City sidewalks. It failed to pass in a recent city commission meeting.
  Response to his Busking Support Network initiative has been positive and Gutts remains optimistic.
  “I remain optimistic,” he said cheerfully.
  Jared Gutts invites the marginally talented to come down to Town Square on Thursday afternoons to develop camaraderie and ‘skillz’ in growing as artists.
  “Bring your own instrument, or just bum one from a friend. It’ll be great!”