Wednesday, March 30, 2022

“Great Scott — The Prideful and
the Paranoid”

The Avon Matrix

Gloria displaces neuroses upon convenient bathers
Nuveti’s competitive pride results in its own neurosis
• Orlosky Tomato Paranoia
Watermelon casualty of furley youth — a slap at the status quo

Friday, March 25, 2022

“I want Gass in the Carr and I want it Dunn Neate”

The Cambridge Matrix

• Noted troublemaker Gass-Boy gazes out from the cellar up at...
• ...Young Carr, cavorting in the dark playing Chicken Tag
• The Dunn Bros., with banana seat, blinded by the light
• Neate, neighbour youth, conveniently completes the tetraptych

Wednesday, March 23, 2022

PABT to Draw Attention to
National Awareness Week ’22

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

  Concerned citizens from People Against Bad Things (PABT) and local try-hards will rally on Town Square this Monday to promote National Awareness Week, which is observed March 27-April 2 this year.
  The rally has been prompted by the need to appear concerned over Bad Diseases, the plight of Genital Neurotics, and some country called “Yukrane.” Protesters will demand attention from any and all passers-by as well as from desperate media types having a Slow News Day.
  “These Bad Things deserve awareness, and we’re making it happen by bringing attention to ourselves,” said local protester Jared Gutts. “Attention is a zero-sum resource — if we don’t have your eyes and ears then someone else does. And we need to bring awareness to that.”
  Due to the recent Bad Disease lockdown, PABT has not made a public demonstration since the “Some Lives Matter” protests several years back.

National Awareness Week is held quasi-annually at the capricious whim of the National Awareness Initiative, choosing the particular week based on narcissistic supply and demand at any particular time.

Wednesday, March 16, 2022

Salaryman Dasai to Uphold Corporate Traditions

A swipe of the arm and Salaryman Dasai follows the path of Salaryman Dada (Specimen 6).
Salaryman Rama (Specimen 7) questions the needful but Salaryman Dada knows to brook no fools.