Orville’s Grotto Decontamination Services

Hãy Bình Tĩnh Lại Đi 3

ERS Memo #CDEQ.11xx89-A

ERS memo Stratum XVI
Status: Declassified

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• ERS Memo #IMEX083098
• ERS Memo #CDEX092498-A

Le Mensonge 9

A Continuation from Stratum XXV

Le Mensonge 8
Le Mensonge 5
Le Mensonge [A]

World of the Bro-Fangled, No. 07

Sneak Peek: New Look for Haute Fresh

HERITAGEVILLE, USA, March, 2020 /PUNGEONewswire/ — HAUTE FRESH magazine, leading thought leaders’ active lifestyle brand with an audience of more than 7 million, this month unveils its inaugural redesign issue.

April 2020 Issue
  Incorporating both new editorial content and an elevated look and feel, the new Haute Fresh provides the service that today's executives desire: business and lifestyle advice that adapts to his hectic life; questionable tips for health and relationships; and innovative ways to keep mind and body fit. The April 2020 issue, featuring shameless activist Soyden McGealt on the cover, hits newsagents next week.

Shittakaburi Song & Dance

Eastside Pungeonary Grand Re-Opening

On Friday, March 20, the Eastside Pungeonary on Furley Shoals Road in Heritageville will hold its Grand Re-Opening.
  Owner Matel Peddhi will be on hand to greet customers and offer them such specialties as Cranial Punge and Poseur Evisceration as well as fresh-cooked corndogs and other popular treats.
  Mr Peddhi said he "wanted to introduce people to the best quality pungeoning in the area.” The facility has always maintained high standards and takes pride in their service.
  Peddhi admits some reluctance after some Ego Activists from BärteHansa made a stink in the local rag about sustainability, but is confident the public will be supportive. Tribal elders of Eastside Prefecture are committed and their Idol Access Division is available for site security assessments on deities.
  Other services offered by Eastside Pungeonary are Theory-Crutch Evultions, Prescriptive Dogma Cremations, as well as a Drive-Thru Truncheon option.
  Matel Peddhi and his wife, Bisbada Peddhi, have bought the facility from Johnny Gutts, who had been operating it since the 1990’s. After purchase, they decided to upgrade the building to current industry standards.
  Facility hours are typically from 6 a.m. until 10 p.m. Mrs. Peddhi is often at the store early preparing pungeoning routines, as Mr Peddhi runs the daytime shift at Peddhi’s Pizza just down the road. He will be available each evening for the daily Pungle Sesh.
  The Peddhi's love the Heritageville community and decided to invest and continue to serve their large loyal customer base.
  Other pungeonary franchises in the area remain available.

Meganebashi ’90

Spectacles Bridge, Nagasaki.

The People Package: Corruption of a Concept

“The People Package accounts are a good source of revenue for TAO.” — Dragonryder

  Stratum XXIV: Early Wednesday mornings, Stoddard would hop into the TAOMPV and gun it out to Lexington Depot to pick up deliverables for the People Package. The circuitous route would take him to Comerville, Harmony Grove, Buffingtown, Jug Tavern, Big Springs, and finally back to Classic City by the end of the afternoon.
  The People Package was a mass marketing mechanism parties could utilise employing a linked network of media organs to deliver their message. A lucrative venture to be sure, for the TAO Office acted as middleman and stood to profit in doing their service.
  Until the BubbaCabal took over and everything went to pot.
  It was whispered that one Warren Letcher, notorious loan shark and crony of the heinous BubbaCabal, used the People Package account to launder money for his own uses, to the point the programme was so corrupt it crashed and burned.
  Stoddard was exasperated by the whole she-bang, and he was not alone. In the words of Mairobin, “I’m disgusted and bored with the ludicrous opinions and petty personal attacks within [TAO Office], within its walls, and under the table...” The ongoing graft was just icing on the cake.

A side note of levity:
  One afternoon Stoddard was sitting at a lunch counter in Normaltown, stewing about the misery at work.
  In walked Mr Letcher, and upon seeing Stoddard, made a public show of his largesse.
  “Lunch is on me, young man,” he announced quite vocally.
  “Cheap-ass cracker likes to put on a show,” Stoddard thought. “A free lunch from this bastard?! Hell, I’ll take it.”
  It wasn’t like Letcher wasn’t already eating other people’s hard-earned lunches.

Day of King Yaito

DATELINE: Barrier Isle, Stratum XIII.

  Aliyah Bernal, Master Stoddard, and the Geordie set sail from Bahia Mar on the fishing vessel Flamingo, heading for open sea. Settling near a proven bottom under a noonday blue sky, the trio rigged up and dropped lines under the casual eye of Cap’n Al.
  “The best thing ‘bout deep sea fishing is that y’never know what you’ll hook on the end of your line,” quipped the captain. All the passengers nodded in agreement — for this was exactly the reason why they were there.
  And indeed, quite the variety of sea life was pulled aboard — Croakers, a squid, small Jacks — even a beautiful but venomous Lionfish.
  At the prow Stoddard struggled with something on his line that was definitely putting up a fight. After ten or so minutes he finally hauled the fish aboard. Cap’n Al pointed and said, “People call that a Bonito but it’s really a Little Tunny.”
  Semi-exhausted but still running on a fisherman’s rush, Stoddard dropped another line. In no time he was again struggling with a catch and eventually reeled in an identical Tunny — at least 70 cm and weighing eight or nine kilograms.
  “Do you want those cleaned and filleted to take with you?” asked Cap’n Al, watching nearby.
  The offer gave Stoddard pause. He glanced over at Bernal and the Geordie, who were eyeing his take.
  “No, but thanks. You can throw them back.” The three had been crashing at the econo apartment Mr Burr was occupying during his stint teaching at the local college.
  Mr Burr wouldn’t be too impressed with them bringing back a certain amount of raw fish to his place just to make a mess of his kitchenette, as none had any notable culinary skills at the time.

  With the day’s angling achievements accomplished, Stoddard sat back and relaxed on a bench on the starboard bow. Scanning the horizon, he noticed a disturbance in the water about a kilometre off the port bow. A column of sea spray seemed to be slowly rising from the ocean’s surface. His eyes followed the mist skyward to see a white snaking cloud descending to meet the spray vortex.
  “Captain,” Stoddard pointed with growing concern, “Look.”
  “Just a waterspout,” he nonchalantly replied. “It’ll be gone in ten minutes.”
  And it was. An everyday phenomenon to the experienced seaman, but an exceptional meteorological event for the present landlubbers to witness.

  In all, a memorable day at sea for the three that capped off an extended weekend that all began with a mere Pyramid Cavort.

Kouri no Mokushiroku

  In a dark, forgotten emporium vestibule, the Bio-Ritmo device lies caked with dust.
  E. Guardian E is no longer on premises to guide the young to the right path.
  The Shrine of the IV Elements again is buried in the sands of time.

  At one time a potent and convictive centre for pungeoning activities, the Echelon Facility now lays derelict and forsaken.
  And now when the clarion call is heralded — “Are you ready for retail?” — many now will think twice.
  And so again history repeats: Myopia ensures folly.
  But perhaps some secrets should remain secret.

  On the bright side, the Richly Rhell facility still appears operational.