Every week a group of locals meet at Town Square to advocate for good things and oppose bad things.
They call themselves “People Against Bad Things,” and, as a means of bringing awareness to citizens of Classic City, perform silent morality shows whilst sitting around holding signs.
“Instead of breaking a sweat and doing something constructive, we’ve found that it’s easier to sit at traffic intersections and hold pithy placards with paralogical platitudes,” says participant Ruth Gopnick. “The vaguer the phrase, the better.”
The local People Against Bad Things movement originated in Heritageville a few years back in response to the power vacuum created by the
splintering of the BubbaCabal and the ascendancy of
BärteHansa busybodies.
Today, the movement continues though the ponytails grow grayer. The ostensible driving force behind these vigils are “bad things” but Armchair Psychologists just point at
Nostalgioid Opiates as the unitarian elephant in the room.
“I sit with these people to give a lot of positive inspiration and to do good and all that,” participant Ted Rant said. “It allows us to live on as people who are against negative things in the world.”
However, not everyone has agreed with the People Against Bad Things. Gopnick said over the years, they have had numerous criticisms aimed towards them.
“When we started out, people said we were too negative,” said Gopnick. “So we held signs saying ‘honk for good things,’ and we only got a few honks. I just don‘t think people are very interested in making noise in traffic when they already have things going so well.”
“There’s just so much badness right now in the world, and when we sit here, we’re sitting against that badness and saying with silence that there is a more better [sic] way to be in the world,” Gopnick said.
“Talk is cheap,” Gopnick whispered aside. “It’s even cheaper when it’s unsaid.”
“People Against Bad Things” meets every Wednesday on Town Square in Classic City. Bring your own lawn chairs.
