Monday, May 31, 2021

Machines With Purpose II

Prime Functions in question
The Machine cannot flatter
and The Fool cannot satisify
et ne peut pas
non plus troquer

Saturday, May 29, 2021

Saturday Night Sensation

When entering even the most benign of social settings, becoming a Conversational Hostage is always a risk. Ignored or not, sidlers can appear from all angles across the socio-economic spectrum, from upper-crust Hebetative Alumnoids down to Spahn Ranch burnouts.


  Garden-variety Ganjo-Pontificators are annoying enough, but decidedly worse are the Easy Breathers, who are one notch further up on the Connard Social Irritant Index.
  But this is nothing new. Savvy onlookers can easily put up Orthotic Mental Buffers, or induce a Reverse-Gaslighting procedural.
  The rest can look on and smile politely at the kind of people who don't have the foresight to avoid conflicting gluttonies.

“I ate a hot dog and killed a $40 buzz...”

Monday, May 24, 2021

Veteran Diplomat Named Special Envoy to Xarnaq Praetorium

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

  Veteran Earth diplomat Sir Keir Marvik was named special envoy to the Xarnaq Praetorium on Monday, as Earth looks to step up diplomatic efforts after the Praetorium’s continued conflicts with the Grand Synod of Jurgætium.
  After serving in useless roles at the U.N., Sir Marvik was an Orville Think Tank political affairs chief from 2014 to 2017, as well as Allied Pungeoning Front PSYOPS Coordinator, a job that helps form United Planets policy and oversees U.P. mediation efforts.
  In 2015 Sir Marvik had an audience with P-Rod, liaison to High Council of Zarg VI, Grand Praetor of Xarnaq IV. He describes his grueling 18-hour psy-session as “the most important mission I have ever undertaken.”
  Sir Marvik commented on today’s announcement saying, “Earth, the Xarnaq Praetorium, and Orville share a common, mutual desire to improve people’s lives and contribute to galactic harmony. We look forward to collaborating with the Praetorium on a number of corporate social responsibility programmes around the galaxy.”
  “Optimistic dialogue regarding commerce and trade has continued between our worlds. The Grand Praetor he/she/itself is much impressed with our generosity and is eager to expand existing trade relations.”
  The Orville Corporation is pushing scalar expansion of geo-pungeoning options, with the Pan-Martian Consortium, the Tapfermann Cadre, and other corporate entities recruited from past Punge Expos to leverage future socio-economic “activities” off-planet.

Thursday, May 20, 2021

Vagabondage in Two Easy Kilometres

Mobile paghpaghak purveyors were a common sight across from the Courts of Avon in the early strata summers. Kids would excitedly show up for dairy treats or “wooder ice,” a favoured local version of a granita. And of course, out of any crowd of youngsters there is the one rascal who must look for mischief.
  Gass-boy eyed the kerbside van as kids queued up for refreshments. He bounded over from the pavement to plop himself on the van’s rear bumper, looking impishly about.
  “C’mon, hop on!” he shouted to Malinconico, standing nearby.
  And a split-second decision was made, possibly involving adrenaline, the consideration of opportunity versus risk, or maybe just the desire for a cool breeze on a hot June day.
  Malinconico slipped behind the van without notice of the kids or the driver. He sat on the back next to Gass-boy, firmly gripping the bumper under him. The boys chuckled nervously as the vehicle lurched into gear and began toddling down the lanes of Sheffield. The crowd of kids left in their wake pointed and mouthed words that were soon out of earshot as they passed the Nottingham Weg.
  On the roads of Cambridge the van picked up speed without making any stops. A 40 km/h residential speed limit doesn’t seem like all that much until your legs are dangling inches from the asphalt racing by. The boys held fast as they made a turn onto Forrest Drive, the van ringing its bell to alert anyone nearby as it trundled up a broad hill. The rushing breeze felt great as the sun began to dip behind the trees.
  The van finally slowed for a stop near the far reaches of the Brae Court. A different neighbourhood may as well be a different world for even the most daring of nine-year-olds. Boys and girls gathered as the van braked.
  ‘Best jump off now before those kids tell the driver,’ both boys silently thought to themselves. Gass-boy and Malinconico nimbly hopped off the bumper and disappeared into the throng of kids, emerging on the far side of the footpath before anyone could figure out what was going on.
  The pair nonchalantly made their way back down Forrest Drive, the summer day winding to a cool close as they hiked the two kilometres back to familiar environs.
  Reaching home turf at the Courts of Avon, the Nuvetis, Vascettas, and the gang from St. Jude’s drew close.
  “How far didja make it?” several asked.
  “As far as the Brae Court.”
  “Wow. And ya didn't get in trouble?”
  “No. Unless youse guys told anyone.”
  “Nah, nobody told!”

  The spark of curiosity and exploration innate in young men does not come without its risks of injury and trouble.

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Classic City Arcade 0521


Mr Zack planning fact-finding mission to Clemson... Herr Jakob rehabbing WW2-era wrench... Ms Frank taking break from the Covid ward... Andrew P. divorcing people in Jug Tavern... Lester receiving ancient drumbox from Japan... Busy bees and fugacious felines visit the Men’s Lodge...

Saturday, May 08, 2021

CaritĂ  ed Entusiasmo

At the Giannone Estate, Backyard Pantomime had been a hit. The kids loved it, and the parents loved that the kids loved it. For a good cause, and all that. Malinconico’s snide offhand notions about “retarded Tai Chi” were probably more accurate than he had realised at the time, for Backyard Pantomime was indeed a benefit for i bambini ritardati, thanks to the kind hostesses from the lanes of Sheffield.
  Let us give thanks to Madame Lorianne of the Estate, Sisters of the Oriente, and the girls of SeafĂłid Kibble ArgĂłint. Their charity and enthusiasm are prime fundaments in keeping alive the spirit of Turner’s Hamlet.

Thursday, May 06, 2021