Hoarding Parafortóno 2

Snack Sans Goût

Diversions in Toyland ’22

Nog for the guests on red felt tablecloth
sprigs of ilex about the parlour
candle carousel spins in first gear

Upstairs, the youngsters’ ears to the floor
the merry murmur hums through
under the sights and songs given to distract

No Manse Messac invasion tonight
stay put and let the diversions work
after all, this is your house

Fortune at Your Feet

Hoarding Parafortóno 1

Orville Beverages Launches Energy Drink for Domestic Market

DATELINE: Heritageville, Present Day

Orville Beverages Division announces the debut of Caffè de Gallina di Cacao Energy Drink to provide consumers a new energy alternative to enjoy throughout their day. The updated beverage is made with premium ingredients from natural sources. Launching in 2023, Caffè de Gallina di Cacao Energy Drink will be available exclusively in domestic markets.
  Caffè de Gallina di Cacao originated as a problematic beverage found in corporate lounge vending machines all over the country. The machine options of coffee, hot chocolate and chicken soup would unintentionally intermingle, resulting in a flavour-buddy-ridden amalgamate fluid. Orville simply changed the nomenclature to reflect the demands of self-conscious coffee cognoscenti and — voila — problem fixed!
  Caffè de Gallina di Cacao is designed to complement good times and social outings. It has been certified organic in compliance with Orville’s internal Organic Consistencies Programme. Like all Orville beverages, it is sold in 100 percent recyclable cans that are vegan, gluten-free, wheat-free and dairy-free.
  The Orville Corporation is no stranger to the energy consumables market. Their Toro Verde Energy Inhalant is a leader in overseas markets and Froggi-Zerii Scarfing Powder is hit with student athletes in the domestic market.
  For more than 40 years, Orville has been giving energy to youth of all ages around the world. With Caffè de Gallina di Cacao Energy Drink, Orville saw the opportunity and need to update a classic flavour that would offer consumers a complementary product with the same quality ingredients and taste the brand is known for.
  “Developing and launching Caffè de Gallina di Cacao into the domestic energy drink market has been an exciting and informative process for us,” said Orville Beverages Division Vice-President Kaitlinn Robertell. “We’ve had an awesome response with our focus groups as Orville has driven category expansion and will continue to do so as we listen to the requests of our loyal and thirsty energy consumers.”

Noctivagant 6: Souvenirs de L’Arlésienne

Le même coin de rue de mémoire:
Billets de concert jetés à la poubelle
“Je rentre à la maison, bébé”
Si seulement.

Jurgætium Removes Ambassador to Earth After Tech Transfer Indictments

Imperial Jurgætium has ordered its ambassador to Earth to be removed, according to a decree released by the Grand Synod House of Jurgætium, after indictments of illegal tech transfer were lodged by Sir Keir Marvik, Special Envoy to the Xarnaq Praetorium.
  United Planets Security Council Secretary G-Rod ibn Quirish had urged Earth to expel Ambassador Magister DeVault after evidence was discovered of mind-transferral technology intercepted from the Orville Corporation, allowing for subsequent illegal sales to underworld factions.
  The decree published by the office of Prime Imperator Jurgætus LXII acknowledges the indictment, and claims Ambassador DeVault has gone into hiding, noting that his last known location was aboard an escort vessel hastily leaving Earth orbit without proper clearance.
  “Any formal actions by United Planets against the accused whilst in absentia will just drag on indefinitely,” claims Special Envoy Marvik. “Jurgætium officials are simply ‘saving face’ and ‘washing their hands’ of any liability.”
  The Orville Corporation has placed a bounty of seven million quatloos for information leading to the location of Ambassador DeVault and the missing gist-transfer psy-weaponry.
  The United Planets is expected to sanction the corporation’s efforts at the next Security Council plenary session sometime next year, they don’t know when.

Jurgætium Ambassador Faces Allegations of Illegal Tech Transfer

Stratum I Premonition: On the Route de Cheval Noir to the M•A•B facility, Courier One receives a communiqué from Magister DeVault and passes it to young Malinconico: “In the future, the tech will exist for gist-transfer. But HORLOGE diktat prohibits short cuts. So we have 48 years to prep for it.”

Special Envoy to the Xarnaq Praetorium Sir Keir Marvik has asked the United Planets to strip the Imperial Jurgætium ambassador of immunity so charges can be pursued against him related to an alleged tech trafficking ring.
  Sir Marvik is accusing Ambassador Magister DeVault of illegal possession of proprietary technology, United Planets Media reports. It is alleged that DeVault ordered subordinates to fraudulently intercept mind-transferral technology from the Orville Corporation, allowing for their subsequent illegal sale.
  Private enquêteurs remote-scanned DeVault’s earthside chancery in September of this year, claiming quantum signature traces of 39 Gist-Transfer Psy-Truncheon Manifolds that were reported missing by Orville. The ambassador was tending to his affairs on Jurgætium at the time.
  A simple majority of the UP General Assembly is needed to remove DeVault’s statutory immunity. Jurgætioid officials say the accusations regarding the trafficking ring are “completely bogus,” United Planets Media reported.
  While no solid links have yet been established in Ambassador DeVault’s alleged tech dealing, active duty and retired officials have sold military matériel to interplanetary criminal groups in the past, including the Caponi Clench on Esotöb3magA-III and the Baltan Seijin on Planet R and Venus. The Orville Corporation was itself under threat of embargo last year for alleged arms trafficking but sanctions were dropped by UP Security Council Secretary G-Rod ibn Quirish.
  Ambassador Marvik is a former Orville Think Tank director and denies any conflict of interest.
  Legal and illegal tech transfer has long been a grave concern for the United Planets as well as earthside. Trafficking at the upper echelons of power can undermine the legitimacy of sovereign systems and their efforts to crack down on organised crime’s effect on tech imbalances.

Noctivagant 5: Luce Violacea su Asfalto

Amethyst light from on high settles in the streets, evoking the nocturnes of the Megis Chamber and even a simple glass of Pinot upon the dusty escritoire.

Noctivagant 4: Lumine in Caligo

Lights again kindle in the murk, xenomantic answers to questions nobody asked, found in silhouettes pacing the dank streets.

Retro Tech: Tactical Psionic Devices of the Early Strata, Pt. III

One short-lived Tactical Psionic Device developed by the Orville Corporation was the TPD-450, a Remote Pungeoning Console that preceded the “Land Mind” TPDs put in place during the Rev. Resbo Era [Strata XIX-XXVII].
  The TPD-450’s brief spotlight was during Strata XIII-XVII [Megis Era] as Sheva brainwave sensors were first utilised, replacing basic ghee-factor Psi-Scan modules common in older models.
  The TPD-450 was notable for its introduction of “Mr Sujay,” an intelligent user interface that assisted users by way of an interactive animated avatar which integrated with pungeonary procedurals. Unfortunately, the feature drew a strongly negative response from many users after the avatar would embark on destructive quines separate from its original programming (blamed by critics on bad coding within the processor core, yet denied by Orville).
  Regrettably, the TPD-450 suffered from the same safety and fidelity liabilities that forced the discontinuation of the TPD-311 model, itself a supposed improvement on the TPD-111 model. Fortunately, the successor “Land Mind” model TPD was a great success and paved the way for Orville’s future improvements in this technological sphere.

Vientulība Naktī

The key is gone, and now only the fables are whispered...

Menko 22: Operators Standing By

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Kochevoy-Berserker

Incarnated Trans-ætheric Subentity encountered during Quantum Venn Overlap on CHRONO Mission 20A, Stratum -CDLXVI. Combat counterpart to Naches Mantikora.

Projection for 2024: Akachan Anākī

Energy Supplement Criticised in Youth Athletic Use

On the shady slope of Bocce Hill at Lac des Cloches, furley frogsters chomp at the bit in anticipation of their morning natatory contest.
  “But some damn fool kid brings Orville’s Froggi-Zerii Scarfing Powder and shares it with teammates, that’s what happens. But what do they know?” laments local confectioner Mr Levy. “They ignored Bunnie’s fruit basket and my Strawberry Surprise all for a cheap energy boost out of a box.”
  Health professionals and parents are concerned, yet the busy coach is none the wiser.
  As long-time Orville critic Dr Allende Benton points out, “Sugary treats such as Froggi-Zerii don’t contain any of the other nutrients athletes need. And eating this crap just before a competition may provide a quick burst of energy, but it’ll leave them to ‘crash’ or run out of energy before they’ve finished their big event.”
  Orville spokesperson Tayna Van Wey defends the product. “Orville has been criticised before over energy supplements, but they are all extremely legal in the export markets in which they are retailed. Froggi-Zerii Scarfing Powder is a safe alternative for the domestic market. And kids love it.”
  “All the season’s training to qualify for Tri-County is now at enormous risk,” muttered Mr Levy, throwing his hands in the air.

He Checked It Out

He checked it out. He wasn't impressed.

Check It Out

Acrophobe: Gravity’s Last Word

Recurring motifs build themselves to an apex until there is no other direction but down

Regurge for 2023: Akachan Anākī

Timeless archetypes for a new year

Next Year’s Model

A Beloved Institution Closes Its Doors

Citizens of Heritageville are lamenting the recent closure of beloved dining establishment The Gristle. The lingering economic fallout from the ConGaijin-20 pandemic is blamed along with general apathy of the local populace, causing franchise locations to shutter.
  From humble yet hoity beginnings as artsy coffeehouse to culinary powerhouse, The Gristle has seen many ups and downs as well as the lateral vicissitudes inevitable in post-modern outlooks.
  The Gristle is notable for introducing Orville’s Praise,™ the New Food Substitute to a loving public as well as catering large events like the Punge Expo and Heritageville’s 150th Anniversary celebration.
  The popular eatery was not without its share of controversy over the years. Concerns of pedestrian safety were often raised by Gristle patrons and other soyfolk over the annual Princely Avenue Motor Sports Open, but cooler heads and leaden feet usually prevailed. Other contentions arose after an internet food critic decried the ongoing habit of sleeveless Gristle waitrons carrying menus tightly tucked under their upper arms.
  “Who wants their menus to smell like some vegan’s armpits?” went the main beef. But loyal clientele pooh-poohed these concerns as class snobbery: “Hey, it’s not like they have cavemen running your food.”
  The Gristle’s Princely Avenue location — the first to open its doors — was the last to close. The alpha and the omega. Let us raise a chalice of Praise™ in memory and slurp it down with gusto.

“So Much for Being Loyal...”

O Olhar Fixo Paralisante

Betwixt, Between, and Beyond

Ianuspater points hither and yon
Supra et infra, gazing on
Fourth Dementia swallows the Third
Lines of Limentinus, sharp, then blurred

Submitted for consideration:

Liminal Spaces — Ah, those transitional loci of circumstance that are subjective enough for both normie and dilettante to ascribe their navel-gazing expositions upon.
  In the particular universe perpendicular to the one from which you read this, physical examples abound. From the deserted Global Congress Centre to Buddhist columbariums and empty provision buildings, spatial peculiarities both confound and inspire. Much the same with Patinoires Del-Wood et Parkaire, the derelict Echelon Facility, and sundry no-man’s lands one may happen upon.
  And, from the mundane déjà fait iterations of visiting drinking establishments to the abundant intentionality of the APF’s Project: Horloge endeavours, liminal instances of course present themselves in the temporal realm as well.
  But the importance of the liminal’s psychological sphere must not be overlooked, dear friend. Here we see the time between stimulus/thought and its response, which may range from mere microseconds for the nimble-minded to the paralysed purgatories for those riddled with doubt. Mitigating factor? Intuition, which even Johnny Gutts admits is a “fleeting thing.” This psychological effect may well activate nostalgioid opiates and/or an aesthetic wonder at what-ifs.
  How then does John Q. Public negotiate this common (yet little acknowledged) void? Metacognitive recursions are always a risk when dealing with Verges on the Verge, and the resulting quantum friction could best be described as type of Dynamic Tension™ (apologies to Mr Atlas). But we’ve known such is the case as far back as the days of Blake’s ‘doors between known and unknown.’
  The bottom line between optimism, pessimism, and middle-ground realism is that Uncertainty is Opportunity.
  How you carpe that diem is up to you.

In the Spirit of Lenape Camaraderie

One autumn day two young lads ventured beyond the Nottingham Weg into the amber woods surrounding Mystery Hill. To Ian and Gass-Boy, it was familiar terrain nearhand the Abode of Weasel. In fact, Weasel’s sister Stacey joined the two in their scouting foray through the meandering trails and thicket.
  Though there was nothing new to be found on this day, every hike there was a restorative to the senses. The lumbering red oak and bog spruce, the creeping pokeweed. The hanging musk of vegetal decay, the wafting char of burned-out forts, and the coo of the unseen mamèthakemu. The trio didn’t say much in their amble. The essence of tekene spake wherein they tread.

Gendatehundin Uchtechsut

“Aargh!” cried out Ian, halting in his tracks. He lifted his foot out of the tawny leaf litter to reveal a rusty nail from a plank had pierced the sole of his ankle boot. “Uh-oh,” Stacey stared. Ian whipped off the boot and sock and the three examined a bleeding puncture wound on his foot.
  “Damn. Does it hurt?” Gass-Boy blurted.
  “Of course it hurts!” winced Ian. He wiped the blood on his sleeve, clicking his tongue.
  “Can you walk on it?” asked Stacey.
  Ian slipped the sock and boot back on and tried to stand. “Mmph — It hurts worse than it looks.”
  Stacey slung her arm around Ian’s left shoulder. “Get his other side,” she directed Gass-Boy.

Mamchachwelendam òk Nisha Witschindin

Stacey and Gass-Boy had Ian in a two-person arm carry and carefully stepped their way through the brush.
  “You had a tetanus shot, Ian?”
  “I dunno. I guess.” He was chagrined but silently thankful as they eventually cleared the forest.
  At home Ian treated the wound, and to be honest, it really didn’t hurt anymore. Maybe knowing that friends had his back outweighed any pain he endured.
  The afternoon went on.

Menatey Ekhokiike

Ian, Gass-Boy, and Stacey sat in the pitch dark of Plaza Cinéma. A projector fluttered and soon the three were immersed in some cinematic adventure of derring-do. The climactic scene was a cheap chroma-keyed effect of the protagonist dragging his buddies from an encroaching tide of lava.
  “Look, it’s us!” laughed Gass-Boy.
  All three had an honest chuckle.

Konkurrenzrausch: The Atavistic Regression

Shibui Ossan

Uni-Ville “Johnny Ghoul”

From Orville’s Uni-Ville collection

Yosan Gassen: The Stakes Are High

Venere Effimera

Genieße deinen Groll: Herbst ’22

At your pleasure, seasonal menu offerings of the oazis fun fardros, inspired by Farm CCLV.

Bes na Nepoznato

Suhag Pati: A Friday Night Composition of Functions

Stratum XII: The shepherd's house overlooks the fjord where the furley raiders gather.
Aliyah Bernal sports the happi coat and buckeroo sash as the Technicots (being the dependent variable) butcher tunes of the day. Even the Wanker insists on his two seconds of the spotlight. The jungle love inspires Korean scholars to breakdance on cardboard.
Tonos de Gris are the leading coefficient and their output is perfunctory, yet rousing to the assembled.
Even the Pavona della Cristallo basks in the rush of attention. All is copacetic on the Cartesian plane.

The Hungry Eyebeard

Porikore-Ōjo 1

Cut the C.R.A.P.: The Risks of Fringe-Dabbling

In his fresher year at uni, Stoddard enjoyed dabbling in the more esoteric group gatherings around campus, mostly for kicks and giggles rather than the sheltered burghers’ Search for Meaning so common in his cohort. To name a few were Fundies Against Raucous Music, the Friends of Keith (ΦΟΚ), and the Transcendent Punditoids (of which, mate “Punk” Mike ruined their hoity-zen seminar with psilocybic fits of laughter).
  But one group that had amused Stoddard enough with its empty platitudes and fortune cookie wisdom was the Collegium for Researching Associative Principles, a uni front group for the Unity Tabernacle of Goguria. (Alas, their unfortunate acronym was never amended.)
  The C.R.A.P. workshops were usually led by an Aussie bloke fond of gesticulating to emphasize his choice of two-dollar words. “Educating hearts, raising awareness, and training global loving citizens are key to personal development,” he assured everyone with the studied banality of a Jedi Master.
  Whilst stifling laughter during one session, Stoddard was approached by Miss Topo, a soft-spoken, timid woman with a glazed expression.
  “Are you growing your heart to become a global citizen?”
  “I’m still in first semester German, so I think I have a ways to go.”
  “Bringing a smile to someone is an act of service.”
  ‘I’m smiling just to keep from busting out laughing,’ Stoddard thought to himself.
  He was intrigued by this tiny woman in her drab, baggy clothes. She spoke in a high, squeaky tone, every syllable drawn and measured like it was being transmitted from afar.
  “Our clench will be having a fellowship meal tonight. Would you like to come?”
  “—Gotta go, thanks!”

  Several weeks later Stoddard was strolling through Memorial Hall plaza one grey day when he was again approached by Miss Topo.
  “Greetings, Mr Stoddard! How are your studies?”
  “I’m getting by, thank you.”
  A nondescript man emerged from behind the diminutive woman to stand by her side.
  “This is Mr Giman, an associate of our clench. Would you let him read your palm?”
  “Erm... sure.” Stoddard offered his hand.
  The gentleman peered into his palm and murmured in an inscrutable tongue.
  “Ah, he says ‘Long life, two children, happy life.’ You are blessed,” Miss Topo explained.
  “Wow, can’t wait,” Stoddard mumbled, feigning interest.
  And then, as if on cue, a long rumble of thunder rolled from the clouds above. Rain began to spatter. Were the gods displeased?
  A plain, windowless van screeched to a halt at the end of the plaza. A side door flung open and several men stepped out, all dressed identically to the palm reader. They appeared to be of Gogurian descent.
  “Oh no, it’s raining!” Miss Topo cried out. “Quick, get in the van! You can come to our clench repast tonight!”
  “Nahh... I’ll be alright,” Stoddard said with a step backward.
  “But you’re getting wet! Please, come with us!”
  Stoddard strode off in the opposite direction through the increasing downpour.

  Armchair shrinks are quick to point out the obvious no-no’s that draw people to cultic thinking — the desire for absolute answers, the illusion of comfort, designating the mandatory Emmanuel Goldstein, etc. But we live in a time when the tyranny of feelings in a society awash in infotoxins leads to a narcissistic result of those same pitfalls.
  Similar means, same ends.
  Who needs a cult leader when an ideology itself will do?

Menko 22: Atorasu no Futan

A Non-Zero Answer

A Beneficial Predator

Euthyrhynchus floridanus

Tiki Enigma III: New for Stratum L

Updated Tiki iteration for Xarnaq IV Urheimat market instigation. Idol implementation process based on BLU Team protocols under Herb Nearland oversight:

• Idol Assembly compiled by Creation Services
• Assemblage is vectorised and transferred to ARUSA mainframe for optimisation
• Assemblage is incorporated into display aggregate and transferred to plate-burning matrices
• Idol Assembly ready for temple installation
[Spill Page rasters will still pancake all frustums effectively to substrate]

Menko 22: Wrestler of Machines

Karoshi Comes for Yamada-san

Circle of Life

Accipiter or buteo dispatching paralyzed squirrel

Guardian at the Eastern Gate

Buteo jamaicensis

The Shock of Low Value Paradigms

“Drying in the cold sun...”

A signal controller cabinet has displaced the old park bench across from Tailgate Plaza. At one time a Stratum XXXIII respite locale from BLU Team drudgery as well as an OptiGrids check-in site, the discarded seating accommodations are now a fitting eyesore.

Genieße deinen Groll!