Tambureggiamento Gluteo del Picide

Being a mischievous lad, it was natural for the impish imagination of Gass-Boy to conjure a compelling concetto assurdo.
  By visually juxtaposing the saucy stunts of a picoid anthropomorph within a context of bawdy adult horseplay, laughs were easily elicited amongst the furley youth of Wicewudu.
  Of course, in catching wind of this junior waggery, Mrs Nuveti couldn’t resist a performative scolding aimed at the slightest titter.
  No matter. Even the whelps of Wicewudu could smell the cheap grace of neighbourhood melodrama. They laughed at Mrs Nuveti, and laughed some more at Gass-Boy’s colourful ideation.

City Passes Single File Pedestrian Ordinance for ‘People of Girth’

DATELINE: Heritageville, Stratum LIII

The Heritageville City Council approved an ordinance amendment that will prohibit “people of girth” from obstructing pedestrian foot traffic on local sidewalks (55-G-1101).
  The amendment was urged on by local activist Jared Gutts, who has voiced concerns about “fatties blocking the sidewalk” — a tendentious issue often raised the last several years.
  City Manager Jared Staylee says the feedback from residents and local businesses was overwhelmingly positive.
  “We’ve listened, deliberated, and engaged with the public and the result is a balanced ordinance that brings consideration and respect to all Heritagevillains,” said Staylee.

Ordinance Amendment 55-G-1101 Excerpts:

AMENDING Chapter 55-G-11.01, Obstructions in Streets and Sidewalks
NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT HEREBY ORDAINED BY THE MAYOR AND COUNCIL OF HERITAGEVILLE THAT:
(A) No person shall be allowed or permitted to obstruct any sidewalk or street in the city by usage of a person’s girth, whether stationary or mobile unless otherwise provided in the Code.
The actions of Persons of Girth must be maintained in a manner that meets the following standards:
a. A clear path for pedestrian travel with a minimum of two meters (2.0m) is provided and access to public sidewalks or doorways is not obstructed.
[...]
SECTION 3.2 DEFINITIONS OF SPECIFIC TERMS AND WORDS
GIRTH. The measurement around a person’s body, acting as a synonym for circumference or bulk, and thus extrapolated to a measurable side-to-side width.
GIRTH, PERSON OF. A person with a physical impairment which substantially limits independent mobility and motility with regard to their physical encroachment upon the public’s right of way.
[...]
SECTION 8: PENALTIES
1. Any person, agent, or representative thereof, who violates any provisions of this ordinance, will, upon conviction, be subject to the following penalties:
a. A fine not to exceed two hundred fifty quatloos (Q250) per day;
b. Imprisonment in the county pokey for a term not exceeding sixty (60) days; or provisional detention in municipality-approved fat farm until a mental and/or physical awareness programme has been completed;
[...]

Anticipating a backlash, a citizens advisory group has been formed by Mr Gutts. “Pedestrians for Access Positivity” (P.A.P.) will guide People of Girth in using city sidewalks without violating the ordinance or causing inconvenience to more considerate members of the public.
  The “Single File with a Smile” initiative created by P.A.P. is meant to inspire People of Girth to walk single file and to empower the more leptogenic citizens with improved pedestrian mobility.
  When asked if he has any future improvements in mind for Heritageville, Gutts pondered for a moment before suggesting, “Maybe converting some of our city buses into cattle cars would alleviate more mobility issues for those in need.”

Amerishiumu no Gukō

Manabu Kikai

K’aghts’ats Gund: The Froward Metaphysick

Volition and puissance in froward abusion wend through autotelic ambages in edacious insecution; nescient iterations perdure.

Liekehtivät Rakeet

Magmatic Möykky

Menko 26: Bootless Báitóng

Menko 26: Kanjō Kikai

Donadagohvi, Etsi

Genug: Papperlapapp

L’appel du Vide

Between the proverbial perch from on high and terra firma lies the vertical void, a liminal lacuna some blindly ignore in ovine obsequiousness and others wantonly defy for Edge Bro clout.
  Some even fancy themselves above this very gap where they can proffer their Rooftop Truths without sullying their stead in the solid ground of substantiality, sanity, and such.
  Quocumque moto, the void calls, gravity’s pull is felt, and the anosognosic paints their volitions in acroatic affectations.

Menko 26: Obatarian no Yokome

Toom Spume Fèisht

RVZ: Jacquerie des Plongeurs

The psychotic break within the Mandated Psychological Protectorate has revealed a tactical mutation from Parched Peitho to Hybris Bia.
  Orthotic Mental Buffers have been re-engaged for Smirch Containment, even though Suasive Rippling still amounts to nil.
  It seems the scullery remains insane.

Lo-Rizz Motenai

Menko 26: Maledicta Aposiopesis

Roge Visage Targuete

Stratum VIII was a tough time for Roge.
  He was coachman for the furley pupilles to Dykounson Scole, and being the snots they were, saw Roge as some cheese wagon churl.
  Still, who would care what a load of rumbustious kids have to think? The gruff, burly man with not-so-hidden caste insecurities, that’s who: Roge.
  Quarrels under the static and stench of daily diesel drives were just too much — it was time to get petty.
  Roge simply created whole-cloth Stories from the Backside to send these yobbies to the headmaster. That’ll show ’em.
  Our furley youth, whilst quite exasperating, do have a sense of justice.
  At year’s end, Master Stoddard stood in the East Bank at Crique de Yanick and watched Roge and the coach rumble off. He unscrolled the parchment and held it aloft in the sun.
  “Behold this bismare — thy guile empourens to the quick my quill to make thine ymage a marke of japery!”

Silly Rabbits, Little Chickens, and Lying Shepherds

Furley youngsters have learned to view Adult Fraughtness with a gimlet eye thanks to the Discordian antics of self-styled trickster archetypes.
  But any ‘archetype’ that reflexively defines itself by ‘what it is not’ has no metaphysical center.
  The kids have grown and see through this schtick.
  The trickster’s Adult Heresy is just the manifestation of Reality Dissociation; their everyday crier au loup another neophobic shriek against anterograde growth, and the continuous squall of heavens falling evermore, landing nevermore.

Hört gut auf die weise Gans!

Conversational Hostage ’26

Good manners and feigned interest are still all that keeps unwanted social interactions at bay, where a stern response may nudge some who are slow to social cues. Worse than the garden-variety narcissists are the Professional Eccentrics, whose lack of emotional regulation and insistence on performative ostentation are substitutes for actual character and personality. It’s kinda ironic.