Un Rinfresco al Verdi

Domanda del Tomo
e il ghiaccio fratture
le pupille arrivano
assorbito e ascoltando

Bloccare gli occhi con la luce
e il corpo si blocca
il leggero tremore delle farfalle
si muove dopo secoli dormienti

Assaporare il radience breve
come ricorda la vecchia quercia
come il semenzale feltro
quando il mondo era nuovo

Orville Corporation Sponsors Local Fútbol Club

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Meeting their community outreach obligations one rec sport at a time, the Orville Corporation is proud to announce its sponsorship of Las Estrellas, Heritageville’s favourite local club in the youth fútbol league.

“Youth, enthusiasm, and private funding will take the community to the next step... interfacing people and situational activities within a positive context, using Orville’s SetUp™ and LifeCoach™ programmes,” said Johnny Gutts, Regional Brand Manager for Orville.

To promote the “Orville brand,” opportunities beyond athletic relationships and methodologies will be offered, such as: international corporate sponsors, security/clone marketing and PsyOps programmes, instant notoriety, as well as comprehensive self-actualisation modules.

With this in mind, Orville has endeavoured to develop a fútbol organisational philosophy and methodology that serves two purposes: To support the fútbol methodology with specific-interest mental proxies used by Las Estrellas, and to support a programme that allows athletically expressive activities for youth fútbol clubs.

Johnny Gutts adds: “Las Estrellas is a fútbol club with global recognition and background which represents ‘the perfect date’ for us with respect to the sponsorship. We chose Las Estrellas because the institution’s characteristics fell in line with Orville’s philosophy of high performance and dynamic enhancement, along with the global impact of its image. We believe the emotive applications of the passion of Las Estrellas matches the synergy Orville puts into technological development and innovation. Through amusements and especially fútbol, Orville looks to reaffirm its corporate mission which centers on innovation, personal achievement through the establishment of psychological goals, market-attuned teamwork, and the definition of a single objective: to rule.”

“Amusement Is Fun.”

“Our ‘Amusement Is Fun’ tagline is more than just a slogan; it’s the foundation for the way our operatives and athletes interact with the global audience and with one another,” said Gutts.
“This new slogan reflects the importance of the club’s ultra-competent, experienced and fully-devoted athletes. Their commitment and desire to play as effectively as possible has led to the successful fun we all enjoy today.”

BubbaCabal time trip unsuccessful

Champagne Charley: Previous accusations of schizophrenia ‘must be ignored’

DATELINE: Heritageville • Tuesday, 2 Sept., 24th Stratum

It was neither the short circuits in his brain nor the bubbly in his tummy-tum that made Champagne Charley lurch and reel at an Orville Corporation Labour Day picnic. The tumult was of an unexpected temporal nature. Explosions rocked the small intestine as a time machine materialised in his tumescent gullet. The BubbaCabal was named on suspicion of involvement in botched weekend attempts at time travelling to pre-Civil Rights America in order to tailor history to their own diabolical ends.

“What the BubbaCabal is doing is not respecting the rights of pro-autonomy citizens,” said Orville spokesman Johnny Gutts.
“We are doing our best to quell this intestinal insurgency.”
The Cabal's time travel efforts appear to have been unsuccessful at this time.

Instead of teleporting to the United States of the mid-twentieth century, Cabal operatives found themselves in the midst of the Xarnaq Dominion of 2313 A.D., an extra-solar hegemony that governs the earth's brain farms. Needless to say, the time-travelling Pink Boys were not welcome, as their limited cerebral capacities were of little use in the twenty-fourth century, much less the twentieth. Xarg VI, heir to the throne of Grand Praetor, banished them back to the present after bearing repeated insults to His regime.

The time machine was built using data recently stolen from the Allied Pungeoning Front, sources say.
Champagne Charley, by the way, is still suffering from the trauma of the invasive mechanism, which disintegrated along with its passengers upon re-emergence into this dimension. Doctors note that the remaining intestinal detritus should exit naturally through the Nether Tracts with minimal discomfort.

As for the remaining stigma of schizophrenia that so doggedly haunts Champagne Charley, “It must be ignored, of course,” says Gutts.
“His troubles are borne of an outside agency -- most likely the BubbaCabal and their half-arsed psychological attempts at scapegoating honest citizens.”

L. Jack McGhee is a staff writer at the Heritageville Observer.

Vexilla et Dies

“Godwin” (half-Darwin, half-G_d) shrugs at the false dichotomies foisted upon the form to which he has been bestowed.
Still, he can unquerulently appreciate mankind’s sometimes irreverent catechising of Matters of Origin and Whither Thou Goest.
Meanwhile, he will bask silently under the bunting and the burnishing summer sun.
Si fueris Rōmae, carpe diem.

Pungle: What more could we ask for?

Pungling as wise, kind, thoughtful
The leisurely man is now depicted walking around the house in boxer shorts, scratching himself. Always getting crocked and passing out at the dinner table. Always hitting or shoving us around; always holding us down, spitting on us, and shooting us with a BB gun.

Pungle Initiative II
Always smoking cigarettes and drinking cheap wine. Always making prank calls and stealing people's silverware. Conspicuously present are beanbag chairs and cockroaches. The place reeks of vomitus and cannabis.

The perfect example?
The BubbaCabal. They were evil incarnate around other people. They especially relished tormenting us. We were on to them, seeing them as the gutless little punks they were. While the BubbaCabal was essentially morally bankrupt, they didn't have the stones to be held accountable for their actions.

The dissolution of sanity has taken its toll
Men are shacked up in a condo with their 25-year-old receptionists. Rocked by the BubbaCabal's actions, men are having mid-life crises. Men get a tattoo and an earring. Men now sport nose rings and shaved heads. Men drive Miatas.
The chaos of their lives has deadened the boys emotionally. They have taken to huffing lighter fluid. They now shuffle around your front yard with empty gazes — they've mellowed.

Hi-Five of Tiki Seven

an incompetent buffer.

Notions are easily swallowed by the apathetic. They accept as fact that any disgruntled citizen, no matter how brusquely burdened he or she may feel as a result of the increasing demands of a slackless society, must be a wacko, or at best a nut who deserves extermination by agents of the Con.

Ignore the incompetent buffer of apotheosis and haughtily forge ahead with your covenant of verity.

Chemo 4 Emo: Modern Solutions for Hipster Inadequacy Complexes

Squamous Scene Emonomas

Their rates have been increasing locally, possibly as a result of decreased exposure to rational upbringing, a broad global perspective, the arts, and pretty much, reality. Primary Care Pungalords can expect to diagnose six to seven cases per semester and one to two cases of Squamous Scene Rejectus each year. Attitudes may be plaque-like or nodular in a waxy, translucent manner, often with ulceric smarminess.

The upshot is that sufferers can be treated with Ego Excision, Emotherapy, Electrodesiccation, Proto-Dread Removal, or Pungedynamic Therapy (the latter is not approved for this purpose by the USDA), although pungeoning does result in the fewest recurrences.
Vapourous Meta-Excuses are amenable to any of the destructive techniques described above, with the exception of PdT.
Burned-Out Scene Personae arise from Scabid Dumpster Patches and Ego Ennui and become more erythematous with growth, sometimes resulting in Emo-Hypersensitivity, Gutter Slumming, Terminal Bourgeoisphobia, and Social Ulceration. Because Brooding Self-Dissatisfaction may again metastasise, sufferers often are treated with Excisional Psyopsy.

It’s really not as bad as one might anticipate. Most chemo patients say the worst thing was losing their taste. [“Like that of rancid wallpaper.”]

That should not be a problem here.