With the SetUp™, you can maximize your consumption intake through a rotating benefits exchange system. By using co-orientation and augmentation of internal resources, your cognitive domain will be market-attuned. You will freely enjoy commercially expressive activities, as a normative reactivity to dynamic incentives enhances your scope of self-referentiality.
--- --- ---
And now a few words from SetUp™ Facilitator Eljack McGhee:
So you’ve been wondering...
What exactly is the SetUp™?
A: I’m glad you asked. The SetUp™ is America’s premier lifestyle product, designed to identify and disseminate excitement patterns throughout its 1500+ offices nationwide, interfacing people and situational activities within a positive context. And you can see how that’s going to help you, right?
Q: Yes, I can. But what makes the SetUp™ different from the rest?
A: In a word, sacrifice. The SetUp’s comprehensive Relinquishment Program maximizes consumption intake through a rotating benefits exchange system: your wages, your car, your house -- even your children. How’s that for a broad church?
Q: It’s very broad. But what if I’m of the opinion, ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?’ Know what I mean?
A: We know exactly what you mean. Think of it this way -- you wouldn’t want another man, possibly a foreigner, sleeping with your wife, right?
Q: Certainly not.
A: Okay then, let’s get you set up.
Q: That seems like the most reasonable thing to do. I hope it isn’t difficult to switch over from my existing product.
A: That’s the great thing -- it’s no hassle to get you switched over. It’s already set up!
Q: That gives me peace of mind. But what if I don’t like it once I join?
A: I assure you -- that simply cannot happen.
Q: But what if I don’t like it?
A: We’ll slowly poison you with sweet fragrances. In the meantime, let’s get you set up!
--- --- ---
The author would like to thank Eljack McGhee of The Orville Corporation and Peter Glavodevedhzhe for helping him to get “set up.”