Saturday, July 30, 2016

Jared Gutts: “What I Know”

CREATIVE SPOTLIGHT: Haute Fresh magazine recently sat down with Jared Gutts, nephew of Orville Corporation CEO Johnny Gutts, as he shared his collected wisdom and trenchant aphorisms:

“UNCLE JOHNNY HAS SHOWN ME the entrepreneurial spirit — I’m gonna open a store that sells those backwards baseball caps. $$$!”
“I ASKED MY FRIEND José if they have nachos in Mexico, and he laughed. So did my friend Roberto. I think nachos must be a great comedy topic in Mexico lol.”
“THE FUTURE IS ALL ABOUT the rapidly advancing field of astronomy. I’m naturally interested since I’m an Aquarius.”
“LIFE is a bowl of cherries — you never know what you’ll find.”
“IF MORE TERRORISTS had access to video games, I think they would chill out a lot more.”
“UNCLE JOHNNY SAYS not to use the mobile phone at the dinner table, but that’s just him being anti-social.”
“I HAVE AN 11TH PLACE participation trophy that reminds me of the competitive spirit. It’s up in my room.”

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Animal PsyOps: Paws and Effect

Mrs. Ock has a moonlighting gig of which many were unaware.
But it would make perfect sense considering how convincing her lackadaisical cover has been. What ostensibly seemed like lazy nosework was simply window dressing for a far more effective sub-clench specialising in brainwork. Apparently, the ALF is indeed a front for the APF, and is not in opposition.

Good to know.

Sunday, July 03, 2016

Cue for the Visions: Ride to Atlantus

As the chimes descended through the flanging aquatic murk, she took him by the hand, fluttering forward through the blue. She turned her head to him, her blonde tresses drifting sensuously about her face. A beaming smile, with grace and strength no doubt bestowed by mighty Neptune himself.
Destination? Mythical undersea kingdom, weirdo millionaire hideout, or crumbling concrete vessel — it don’t matter.
The journey itself is almost always as exciting, especially given the company one is with.