Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Johnny Gutts: “What I Know”

EXECUTIVE SPOTLIGHT: Haute Fresh magazine recently sat down with Orville Corporation CEO and Head Solutioniser Johnny Gutts as he shared his collected wisdom and trenchant aphorisms:

“PASSION IS AMORAL. You may be passionate about saving baby seals, but I’m just as passionate about clubbing them.”

“‘GET IT IN WRITING.’ That’s what the old man always said. He was right.”

“EMOTIONAL DRACULAE AND NEGA-TOADS should get no further than the corporate lobby. They just add insult to industry.”

“PEOPLE WHO CONSIDER MEETINGS to be the highlight of their day are sad people indeed.”

“EVERY WOMAN has a pet hamster, whether she knows it or not.”

“STARVING ARTISTS are my favourite kind. Culls the herd.”

“THERE’S A TIME AND PLACE for everything. And that time and place is here and now.”

“YOU DON’T put mayonnaise on an Italian sub. You just don’t.”

“WHEN THE BIG BANG HAPPENED, it sounded like the end of the song ‘Bold as Love.’ Don’t ask how I know this.”

“CORPORATE JARGON has no place at Orville. We’re too busy synergising.”

“THE TENTACLES OF COMPASSION towards others are often a knee-jerk response to validate our own egos, but too often choke ourselves when blinded by good intentions.”

“EARTH IS JUST a doorstop at the Cosmic Waiting Room.”

Monday, March 28, 2016

Project: HORLOGE

Project: HORLOGE
Codename: SLAKE

At the abandoned Naval Air Station off Road Street, the geodesic domes are still visible above the treeline. Beneath Dome B lies a clandestine APF facility funded by the Orville Corporation’s Black Ops budget.
  There is a chamber with computer equipment facing an empty platform.

An analog cross-modulation audio alert [3:31] signals that the device is energising. A flash — and a man appears out of nowhere upon the platform.

Test Run: 04/19/78 [Stratum V]
Materialisation Point: New Caesaria, suburban back yard.
SLAKE materialises beneath the liriodendron and views Subject behind glass door. Subject manipulates audio device noting appearance of SLAKE.

Stratum XII: SLAKE witnesses Subject at Blue Sands Proving Grounds examining vitrified rock. No contact made.

Stratum XIII: SLAKE intercepts Subject on roof of Reid Hall as he does battle with the Party Animals. Subject’s life is saved from a four-story fall.

“Black Boomerang” Incident
Approx. Time (cesium chronometer disabled): Midday, Spring, Stratum XVIII-XIX.

APF ‘Sky League’ recon craft (”The Black Boomerang”) in suborbital flight is spotted by Subject.

  Stratum XXII: SLAKE intercepts Subject en route to the Condor Facility in Attica on suicide mission, saving his life.

Stratum XXVII: SLAKE witnesses Subject’s final disembarkation from the S.S. Reverend Resbo with accompanying soundtrack.

Point of Contention: How can SLAKE see outcomes that need correction when he is from a different time-line himself? Enough evidence is present that identifies SLAKE as the same person as the Subject, so where does he get his info to save Subject, if in other time-lines, Subject’s behaviour results disastrously? The proximity of lateral quantum realities blurs the meta-scope.
  SLAKE the CHRONONAUT is his own Guardian Angel. There is fourth-dimensional “meta,” of which its understanding still lies outside of the scope of current “meta,” of which we can see a limited picture from where we stand.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

I Want That Frisson Again

Dame Liza that they give us
up on the balcony
you’d give an arm and leg
but not a bended knee
‘Carpe Diem’ scolds my reaction time
But I wanted that frisson
that very soupçon
that taste so fleeting, yes
before it’s gone

Die Tänzerin they give us
they say she is the best
you shoulda snatched that brass ring
before she flew out west
‘Carpe Diem’ scolds my reaction time
I want that frisson
that very soupçon
that taste so fleeting
here before it’s gone

The eyes do meet, and potentials are guessed
play it all out, and see what meshes best

Dame Hrothgar that they give us
they say she’s mighty fine
colour in her face and
swayed by suave guy’s line
‘Carpe Diem’ scolds my reaction time
I want that frisson again
that very soupçon
that taste so fleeting
here before it’s gone

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

Aelius VII Iteration

Brusque instances of Qualia coming in rapid succession force agents with freewill to assess the series of threats. The pattern of repeated ontological episodes demands engagement and correction in situ.

Tuesday, March 01, 2016

Make Classic City Great Again

The 21st century problems of Classic City must be addressed:

• The piss-poor job market fostered by an environment hostile to small business, leaving a dreadful remaining spectrum from half-baked calzone chains to fleeting trust-fund veganoid nosheries and useless candle boutiques.
• The atrocious quality of local music, scaring off potential audiences in a city that once prided itself as a ‘music destination.’
• An equally arid art scene whose output ranges from hoary macramé foistenings to the playschool-level transgressions of stale, faux-Fluxus excretions.
• The growing number of our town’s younger cohort lacking in such ‘soft skills’ as emotional continence, telling time and “indoor voice.”

Orville CEO Johnny Gutts has boldly stepped into the political arena to bring his town back from the brink of cultural and economic collapse... The much-needed Cultural Cleansening will not be achieved through old-school authoritarian measures, but through a shame-based grassroots effort where the Everyman and Average Joe can freely call b___s___ on the city’s widespread cultural pollution.

Won’t you join him..?