Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Johnny Gutts: “What I Know”

EXECUTIVE SPOTLIGHT: Haute Fresh magazine recently sat down with Orville Corporation CEO and Head Solutioniser Johnny Gutts as he shared his collected wisdom and trenchant aphorisms:

“PASSION IS AMORAL. You may be passionate about saving baby seals, but I’m just as passionate about clubbing them.”

“‘GET IT IN WRITING.’ That’s what the old man always said. He was right.”

“EMOTIONAL DRACULAE AND NEGA-TOADS should get no further than the corporate lobby. They just add insult to industry.”

“PEOPLE WHO CONSIDER MEETINGS to be the highlight of their day are sad people indeed.”

“EVERY WOMAN has a pet hamster, whether she knows it or not.”

“STARVING ARTISTS are my favourite kind. Culls the herd.”

“THERE’S A TIME AND PLACE for everything. And that time and place is here and now.”

“YOU DON’T put mayonnaise on an Italian sub. You just don’t.”

“WHEN THE BIG BANG HAPPENED, it sounded like the end of the song ‘Bold as Love.’ Don’t ask how I know this.”

“CORPORATE JARGON has no place at Orville. We’re too busy synergising.”

“THE TENTACLES OF COMPASSION towards others are often a knee-jerk response to validate our own egos, but too often choke ourselves when blinded by good intentions.”

“EARTH IS JUST a doorstop at the Cosmic Waiting Room.”