Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Excerpt: The Inherited Will to Toast

Gutts, J. (1976). The inherited will to toast.
Heritageville: Orville (out of print).

A poolside picnic table at Lac des Cloches, before the Fourth Stratum.
A young Scarlatti, Nuveti, Vascetta and Malinconico cavort in high spirit amidst the birkenbier und w├╝rste as summer begins to wane.
   The gesture is a reflex passed down through blood. The hearty atmosphere motivates the spirit, and so the young lad involuntarily reaches for the first thing within grasp...

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Classic City Arcade 0115

Mr Dutch offering the Tuesday night sandwich board chalk duty at the Sideboob... Scotty K. breaking Mack’s pneumatic door hinge... Ms ’Chelle B encouraging patrons to “puz”... “Mr O” unclogging clogs... The Men’s Lodge enjoying a surfeit of milk crates...

Thursday, January 01, 2015

“The Inherited Will to Toast”

Aus den Trauben der Snoqualmie zum lokalen Senf...

On the shores of Lac des Cloches, a young Scarlatti reflexively thrusts a condiment receptacle in the air when the shutter snaps…
And years later, old Courier One does the same with his Riesling am Danksagung...

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Style Trends 2015:
Fainting Couch/Soapbox Combo

A design trend that is quite en vogue this season is the pairing of different furniture styles and periods — and Orville’s team of interior designers and consultants are straight on it.

Most popular in this year’s line is the Fainting Couch/Soapbox pairing. The fainting couch is a faux red velvet neo-Victorian reproduction — nicely complemented by the unfinished soapbox in Urban Loft style.

The soapbox is ideal for college students quick to jump on a cause or eager to brandish some social cred whilst the fainting couch is always nearby to cushion their tender sensitivities from blows of logic and reason that dare knock one off their oratorical stump.
Modestly priced for the uni budget.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Excerpt: Aqua Phoenix

Gutts, J. (1975). Aqua phoenix.
Heritageville: Orville (out of print).
‘What lurks beyond the curtains?’ wonder the curious ones.
  Young lads indeed recognise that unknowns lie abaft and amidst the trees, beneath the rippling lake and behind the passing clouds.
  Things await discovery on the other side of each brink.
  In life’s odyssey, some find themselves there on that far side, needing to break the threshold, to pierce the bounds and transit the quantum state — to be borne again...

Saturday, December 27, 2014

New for 2015: The SetUp™ 2.0

Back by popular demand — The Orville Corporation has updated its classic SetUp™ Lifestyle Product for 2015. With it, newly established social interfaces and situational activities can be maximised towards positive ideals (or negative, if one so chooses).
  The new algorithm for the updated SetUp™ works across both online and “meatspace” platforms, further enabling you to integrate all aspects of consumption and social media intake with increased “likes” and guaranteed “retweets” — helping you to facilitate a trans-caste identity based upon emotive applications of meme-casting, synergistic frame-control emetics, and progressive ego augmentation.
  By using re-orientation and re-mapping of cognitive deficits along with PersonaFit™ templates, your social domain will be externally acclimatised. You will freely enjoy sharing activities that are expressive on a wide spectrum — from Conspicuous Consumption to Social Justice.
  Your self-referentiality will also be vigourously emboldened, filtering out “trolls” and naysayers, whilst maintaining a normative reactivity to dynamic incentives.
  No matter what state you live in, you can use the SetUp™ to enroll in affordable, quality lifestyle enrichment.