Saturday, April 19, 2014

Indulgenza nella Nostalgia: Pomeriggi sul Campo presso il Fiume Covone

The Spry n’ Sprightly™ brand currently acts as umbrella semiotic/Cue for the Visions for mainstay totems of (metaphorically) nutritive meme/concepts within the initial 10-stratum span.

The various Sheffield favourites: Cottage cheese, “byo-byo,” shucked corn, Herb Alpert 8-Tracks, Fresca®, “Lives of Our Days,” iced milk, Lark’s “Keith filter,” Venuti’s pizzelles, day journeys to the Lac des Cloches, Dixie Riddle Cups, birch beer, Mass Youth Cavort through the Bug Man’s clouds, and the Mooney Garage Graffiti Gallery (“Don’t read the walls,” Miss Troy ominously once intoned).

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Orville Foods Division Announces New Brand Launch: Punge Kibble™

Orville Foods Division executive Landau Shoger announces the new brand launch of Punge Kibble™, a breakfast concept high in both protein and fibre aimed at both young Millennials on the go, as well as health-conscious seniors.
  “Punge Kibble™ is an important part of any breakfast,” says Shoger.
  Punge Kibble™ features sustainable GEO (genetically enhanced organism) cereal grains based on wheat, muesli, and quinoa whose very DNA is customised to maximise your breakfast satisfaction.

• Punge Kibble™ also helps maximise antibody count. You are what you eat — don’t you want to maximise your antibody count??

• Lower equine part count than competitor brands, with the exception of the Punge Kibble™ Basashi variety for the Japanese market.

• Fortified with Vitamin P23™, a proprietary Orville nano-nutritional bioactive compound that facilitates proper metabolism.

• Stop fearing your dietary intolerance and sensitivities — harness it. Embrace it. To override errors of metabolism, Punge Kibble™ has integrated scouring aggregates, which serves as a (1) intestinal tract abrasive, and (2) toilet bowl scrubber. To further expedite the alimentary process, PK has accelerants to double the time till expulsion and triple the force.

• It takes a new word to describe the amazing taste of Orville’s Punge Kibble™, so we made one up: Pungelicious. It’s when the most exquisite, plump sultanas, succulent Yemeni dates and crunchy Spanish almonds are mixed with nutritious grains and meat trimmings to make one mouth-wateringly delicious breakfast. Nutrition has never tasted better.

• Varieties available: Frisky Feast, Mixed Grille, Veg Supreme, Savoury Offal, Fruit & Nut Medley and Klassic Kibble Delight™.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Orville Daycare Announces Student of the Week

Baby Eddie is a fun, energetic two-month-old boy who is in the advanced nursery class. He is the son of Kevin and Naomi Blumpford. It only takes a few moments to see that Baby Eddie is a cool kid! For example, you will be rolling with laughter when he pretends he is driving his grandpa’s mobility travel scooter.
  Some things he enjoys are crawling around, Mommy’s milk, and playing with all of his toy balls. His favourite three movies are Nemo, Cars and My Dinner with Andre. At school, he loves playing with cars and trucks. One of his favourite foods is moules à la crème normande. He also loves apple juice and the colour orange. Along with the rest of his classmates, he really loves when Mrs. Hiwashita has music time with the class and sings “Pearly Shells.” As you can see, Baby Eddie is a neat kid and is very much loved by his family and friends.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Green Jīqìrén: Push Puppet Talisman

Similar to the S’quatch Totem of later strata, Green Jīqìrén was a talisman bestowed by the elders of Seaside Pungeonary to Scarlatti back around Stratum One. Ostensibly a plastic trifle from the Pearl of the Orient, the asset soon took on a muted undertone of bulldada. Ruby eyes would glimmer in the Higbee Beach sunset; the mouth grille quietly glowed like an ancient furnace.   Scarlatti himself probably didn’t have the same enchantment for Green Jīqìrén as others did, for it was but a plaything to him. The icon was eventually lost to the mists of time but its essential image in the back of minds continues through various iterations across the strata.