“The Mind at War”

Orville Corporation CEO, thought leader, and armchair analyst Johnny Gutts sees the writing on the wall:

  “There’s aspersions in the air and treachery in the ’tubes and revilement on the road ahead. Your sanity and mental hygiene are under attack from all quarters. From the high level Powers That Be that divide and conquer to make dependent beggars... to the local cabals sniffing for exploitation... down to the low individuals no less cunning, gunning for scammage.
  “The plethora of psychological offensives come from across the spectrum -- from knaves down to their fools -- and from some even on The Spectrum itself. (“Spectrum is Green”? Definitely not, guys.)
  “Languid yet stubborn minds and their psychological necessity for an ‘Emmanuel Goldstein’ to focus their frustrations with what is ultimately self-unfulfillment -- and their obligatory public displays of impotent rage. Of course, every hurdle in life is viewed as an impediment put in place by The Man. They bait innocents into false debates not to persuade, but for the selfish purpose of validation abutment. So, don’t bother trying to be pragmatic with solutions for them. They’re just milking the opportunity to bitch. And not only are you forced to listen in person, they barrage you online, looking for social approval (via vanity metrics) for leveraged activities.
  “But! By all means don’t take things sitting down! Call out these Shoulder Chippers’ passive-aggressive mau-mauing as the twaddle it is and watch them crumble into a litany of Vapourous Meta-Excuses, betraying their Image-Constructs.
  “How did these ‘adults’ not ‘grow the F up’? Having shite parents who lack basic social propriety certainly didn’t help. ‘Can’t you just ignore them?’ you ask. Well, these are clowns you run into every day. The store clerk who can’t do arithmetic even with the till. Idiots operating machinery. And of course, people who block the travelator at the transit concourse.
  “And putting the Irritati in front of us aside, let us not forget the media environment that surrounds us. It’s in the air, on the walls, and on the telescreens! We are suffused with the scourge of InfoToxin peddlers, the recycled compost of Kultur Vultures, provocative ‘art’ that provokes yawns, and the steady dirge of
Lo-Valu™ media muckraking passing itself off as news.
  “Solutions? The Allied Pungeoning Front has long supported pungeoning activities and the Orville Corporation has long sanctioned the APF’s efforts supporting various pungeonaries and their franchises over the years, as well as Punge Expos. Orville has been offering assistance with cutting-edge tech of the time, available to both individuals and groups in their fight against BubbaCabal and BärteHansa, as well as against Easy Breathers and their ilk, drunken alumni, and hippie burnouts.
  “But what more could we do? What more could I, Johnny Gutts, do in this war of minds? I am giving you these tools to use yourself — no need to call the APF or local pungeonary, when vital information is at your fingertips!

  “Orville Publishing brings these great books to you! Presenting the first 14 volumes of ‘The Mind at War’ — now available to the general public.
  “They’re all here, in big handsome hardbacks with the look and feel of hand-tooled saddle leather. Or, get them in handy CD/DVD format to watch on your personal computing device.
  “I’ll send you ‘Vol. XIV: The Trajectory of Cultural Rot’ for a 10-day examination. If you’re not impressed just return it in ten days and pay nothing. If you decide to keep ‘The Trajectory of Cultural Rot’ you pay just $19.95 plus shipping & handling. Then, every month I’ll send you another lively volume from ‘The Mind at War’ library for a 10-day examination. Keep only the volumes you want. Cancel at any time.

  “If you care about freedom of thought and unfettered mental hygiene as much as I do, you’ll want every volume of ‘The Mind at War.’ Order today and receive an Allied Pungeoning Front tote bag FREE with your purchase. This offer ends soon so call right now!”