ERS Updates ‘Toolz’ for Social Media Milksops

Crush it on social media! Cultivate your latent psychological pathologies with the Emotive Response System’s Digital Lifestyle Toolz™ for media exhibitionism.
  Today’s astute internet users are nigh hungry for your personal content, especially if it’s disgorged without the taint of thoughtful reflection.
  First person narratives are notably engaging as your Main Character Energy arouses the interest of complete strangers who apparently have unlimited time and attention to help fortify your depleted reserves of self-worth.
  The ERS Digital Lifestyle Toolz™ Combo-Pak includes mobile versions of:
  • The Spectrum 4.0 Lifestyle Product app
  • Culture Transition Services app
  • All current Punge Procedural apps
  • Hello Planaria Social Minefield Guide
  • Fragility Cultivation app
  • ‘Digital Despair’ forums, galleries and micro-blogs where the tech-savvy can bask and share in collective misery

As Johnny Gutts has declared, “In an Information Economy, there’s no such thing as Too Much Information!”
  The world is indeed the shoulder for you to cry on, so sign up today for the ERS Digital Lifestyle Toolz™ and let it all hang out!

Saturday Night Sensation

When entering even the most benign of social settings, becoming a Conversational Hostage is always a risk. Ignored or not, sidlers can appear from all angles across the socio-economic spectrum, from upper-crust Hebetative Alumnoids down to Spahn Ranch burnouts.

  Garden-variety Ganjo-Pontificators are annoying enough, but decidedly worse are the Easy Breathers, who are one notch further up on the Connard Social Irritant Index.
  But this is nothing new. Savvy onlookers can easily put up Orthotic Mental Buffers, or induce a Reverse-Gaslighting procedural.
  The rest can look on and smile politely at the kind of people who don't have the foresight to avoid conflicting gluttonies.

“I ate a hot dog and killed a $40 buzz...”

Bio-Meth: People Helping People

DNA Donations • Help Save Lives • Earn Extra Bucks

  DNA is the essential starting material needed to manufacture therapies and products that help individuals with rare, chronic and often genetic diseases to lead healthier and more productive lives.
  Enter the Orville Corporation’s Bio-Meth DNA Donation Facility. Bio-Meth takes painless and quick DNA donations from the public for easy cash. Here’s the thing — you’re not donating to a charity anymore. You’re donating to a business. They will use your DNA to turn them into products. It’s only fair they compensate you for your time and your DNA, right?
  Many people who were apprehensive before their first DNA donation have become regular donors after discovering that donating DNA is safe and easy.
  Some of the therapies, products and services Orville offers based on donated DNA are:

• Therianthropic Therapeutic Services
• Punge Procedural 41-2: Neurohacking (Scrubbed)
• Bifzabka Nano-Punge™ Protocols
• Ego Excision and Emotherapy

  Millions of people whose lives depend on DNA donors cannot thank you personally for your donation, but you have the satisfaction of knowing that you’ve made a big difference for people suffering from a host of conditions. Stop by today!

Excerpt: “Ontological Hygiene: Protocols and Procedurals”

Gutts, J. (1971). Ontological Hygiene: Protocols and Procedurals. Pungeon Quarterly, XXIII(2103). Heritageville: Orville (internal use only).

“...In the Affenmeyer domain, focus is set on high-quality systems for measurements during the Punge Procedural process. Emphasis is also placed on cerebral process monitoring focusing on the front-end and back-end of the mindwipe cycle. Innovative 3D maser-based techniques have been developed by Orville for verification of systems. At facility level, the emphasis is put on the modeling of Suggestion Inputs and neuro-hacking techniques. Psychological sampling and other verification methods continue to pose challenges. To contribute to the evaluation and verification of lab activities and capabilities, expanded intra-departmental analyses focused on sensitive technologies offers significant potential.
  “This study provides an insight to several improvements made to enhance human cognitive performance such as: subject comfort; more friendly Operator-Subject Interface (OSI); appropriate training imparted to workers of all levels; enhanced ability of pungeonary staff to develop action plans and vice-compliant procedures in real-time during normal as well as accidental conditions; refining implementation of Psychic Detrusion and Pharmatronic Applications considering human performance, etc...”

Punge Procedural 23F:The Hard Sell/Bad Cop

Punge Procedural 23F is often used as a “last resort” in re-/de-programming protocols with subjects who are resistant, antagonistic or unresponsive to other procedurals. This particular process includes a strong chemical “cocktail” but the main motivating procedure involves the heavy use of memetic implantation in the host as well as ontological card-shuffling with aberrant psyches. These are psyches that stray too far with a (weak) psycho/moral hygiene that threaten the social fabric with standard Cluster B personality disorders.
  Languid yet stubborn minds tend to have a psychological necessity for an “Emmanuel Goldstein” in order to unite and focus their frustrations with what is ultimately self-unfulfillment. Fortunately, this tendency towards scapegoating can be reversed with the PP-23F procedural to implement a subconscious superego presence with a “firm, guiding hand” to steer said psyches in a socially constructive fashion.
  Reason itself was never a factor in the first place of how subjects’ minds got to where they are. And so with psychological correction, the memetic implants often persuade using shame, fear and embarrassment, to the dismay of some critics.
  Orville stands proudly by the successful record of Punge Procedural 23F.

Bifzabka Nano-Punge™ Protocol (BNPx 0.5)

Breakthrough! Developers at Orville’s Nanotechnology Division labs have salvaged failed efforts at experimental neurohacking from a biochemical approach (Punge Procedural 41-2) to reapply via a nanotechnological standpoint. Success is on the horizon.

 The Bifzabka Nano-Punge™ Protocol (BNPx 0.5) is using a hipster demographic in its prototype test phase. It involves initiated active nanodevices that act as molecular assemblers utilising passive nanostructures to construct pro-pungeon nanobots to invade the host and deploy themselves to find the “bully chromosome” (as per PP41-2 directive) — the very molecule that makes individuals susceptible to bullying. Once the nanobot finds the particular cell or molecule, it does two things: 1) It begins to “punch” it repetitively via Molecular Sucker-Punch™ 2.0 (MSP2) and 2) builds another nanobot/assembler. The second does the same...

 The frequency of the pummeling can be synchronized across thousands of nanobots within the host. This can be orchestrated to setup a harmonic imbalance to counteract case subjects’ physical activities, such as (but not limited to) foodie talk, grooming beards and collecting mid-century furniture.
 Synchronized MSP2 actions can coincide with heart rate (1x, 2x or 10x) per heartbeat or in random time sequences such as MSP-C (C = chaos), as well as syncing to neural oscillations of brain waves (alpha through theta).

 In theory, events can be triggered remotely, or nanobots can wait for a particular event before activating the chosen candidate.
 Test results will be forthcoming.

Punge Procedural 41-2: Neurohacking (Scrubbed)

Developers at Orville Pharmanautics Labs in Heritageville have been beta testing a pungeoning procedural (prototype PP41-2) that involves biochemical mechanisms in conjunction with basic meme insertions. The biochemical mechanisms attach themselves to specific hormones in the human body and attack particular DNA strands in molecules in nearly any organ but most prominently, the brain. The DNA element singled out is the “bully chromosome.” This chromosome is responsible for the unfortunate human trait of susceptibility to being bullied.
  Ostensibly, the biochemical agent would find this bully chromosome and repetitively deliver a Molecular Sucker-Punch™ to expedite psychochemical reactions towards the goals of this particular procedural. This would occur millions of times throughout the prefrontal cortex of the subject.
  Alas, the preliminary tests were suboptimal, as subjects’ susceptibility scores were indeed lessened on the Bully Axis, yet their Locus of Control was unfortunately neutralised. Subjects just didn’t care anymore. About anything. They would just sit there exhibiting symptoms of ptyalism, rhinotillexis and wearing their ball caps backwards. Orville is unfortunately shelving this procedural prototype.
  But there’s hope! Orville’s Nanotechnology Division is stepping in where biochemistry has failed to deliver. Nanobots are currently being designed that should achieve the same goals as Punge Procedural 41-2, both on a cellular and molecular level. Current efforts are looking promising.
  Stay tuned.

Punge Procedural 86-02:Reverse-Gaslighting

A PNGN technique recently declassified by the Orville Corporation/APF is Reverse-Gaslighting (PP86-02): a form of psychological elucidation in which factual information is presented with the intent of shattering a delusional individual’s own prior self-deceptions, misperceptions and insanity. It may simply be the negation of inculcated phantasms, or it could be the staging of psychological interventions with the intention of reorienting the victim to reality.
A central aspect of RG is Reality Affirmation — denial of false/implanted events, and vivification of factual events.
RG can be approached using varying combinations of the following methods:

• Depsycholeptics
• Psychic Detrusion
• MW auditory effect
• Voice to Skull (or “V2K”)
• Tapfermann Continuation
• Pharmatronic Applications
• Sleight of Mind

These applications are commonly used at most pungeonaries as well as in the field.