Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Punge Procedural 41-2: Neurohacking (Scrubbed)

Developers at Orville Pharmanautics Labs in Heritageville have been beta testing a pungeoning procedural (prototype PP41-2) that involves biochemical mechanisms in conjunction with basic meme insertions. The biochemical mechanisms attach themselves to specific hormones in the human body and attack particular DNA strands in molecules in nearly any organ but most prominently, the brain. The DNA element singled out is the “bully chromosome.” This chromosome is responsible for the unfortunate human trait of susceptibility to being bullied.
  Ostensibly, the biochemical agent would find this bully chromosome and repetitively deliver a Molecular Sucker-Punch™ to expedite psychochemical reactions towards the goals of this particular procedural. This would occur millions of times throughout the prefrontal cortex of the subject.
  Alas, the preliminary tests were suboptimal, as subjects’ susceptibility scores were indeed lessened on the Bully Axis, yet their Locus of Control was unfortunately neutralised. Subjects just didn’t care anymore. About anything. They would just sit there exhibiting symptoms of ptyalism, rhinotillexis and wearing their ball caps backwards. Orville is unfortunately shelving this procedural prototype.
  But there’s hope! Orville’s Nanotechnology Division is stepping in where biochemistry has failed to deliver. Nanobots are currently being designed that should achieve the same goals as Punge Procedural 41-2, both on a cellular and molecular level. Current efforts are looking promising.
  Stay tuned.