That lovable rascal -- he’s such a good boy (yes you are) that it’s only natural for post-Wall pet parents to imagine him as a four-legged fount of goodness. This angelic anthrozoomorph “would save the world if he could.”
Of course he would. His Translator Collar says so. And you reward him thusly for that potential, as well as for the cuteness convenient within itself.
Let’s be blunt: The ‘pet as emotional crutch’ is pathetic enough as it is. (At least you’re not making a public show of it.)
But who could quibble with doling out well-deserved treats?
Of course BBACBL Absentee Overlords have to put in their two cents. Not that they aren’t pet lovers, it’s just that their idea of ‘pet’ extends to anything or anyone within their Sphere of Influence -- their ‘small pond,’ as it were. Sure, it’s a mercenary approach, designed to milk the most out of a business, situation, or person in the name of their own corrupt and paranoid pet causes (no pun intended).
But their concern about anyone two-legged or four- will be self-serving false equivalence platitudes if anything.
“That dog don’t hunt!”
Of course he doesn’t. His Translator Collar says so. Broken clock, and all that.
Edition Sponsor: Alsatian Liberation Front
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