“Critics have always had their ‘elf and safety’ gripes,” says CEO Johnny Gutts, “but our distribution complies with all applicable laws and regs.”
Gutts does not mince words.
“Because of these ponces and their ‘world trade’ racket, Orville is forced to limit our overseas shipping of Praise™ to Caribbean slums, the Mideast, and despotic African ****holes — no offence, UAP!”
Orville is no stranger to controversy, as their Therianthropic Therapeutics services (recombinant DNA salons) were forced to relocate overseas in 2014, as well as many of their forays in neurohacking and certain Punge Procedurals.
Piracy and smuggling of Praise™ and other Orville products also continues to be a concern for the trans-global corporation. Gutts doesn’t rule out taking harsher measures in response.
“The Burcad Badeed of the seas and the Almuharibin of the sands indeed know a good thing. Still though, gonna have to call the Allied Pungeoning Front to deal with these international incidents. Gotten our hands dirty before — not afraid to do it again.”
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