Thursday, July 24, 2025
Der Spiegel der Sackgassen
Friday, July 18, 2025
Sunday, July 06, 2025
Sunday, June 29, 2025
On Weddings and War
constantia at her side
Ulyssia seethes a sour silence
a jurgatrix with smile wide
And when Juno Domiduca summons for the rite
each to their altar and flame
Valeria stands to give her best and
Nemesis betrays Ulyssia’s game
Marcellus incarnates pietas yet
immures that silent power
Miles Gloriosus swaggers still
with wasted flex and glower
And when Mars Gradivus stands and
trumpets the call to fight
Marcellus brings virtus to the fray while
Gloriosus blindly vaunts Ira’s spite
Summa hominis indolis probatio in bello est.
Maximum experimentum indolis probatio mulieris caerimonia nuptiali est.
Wednesday, June 25, 2025
Sunday, June 22, 2025
Saturday, June 21, 2025
Saturday, June 14, 2025
Classic City Arcade 0625
Richard K. visiting from the Eureka Redwoods...
Mr Daystrom dreaming of flight...
Mr Zack judging ’cue down at Hot Corner...
8TG crushing the chinches...
Thursday, June 12, 2025
A Climber Descends
she passes through the window
and down the photinia tree
to leave a quiet ‘hello’
Thursday, June 05, 2025
Saturday, May 31, 2025
Sunday, May 25, 2025
Friday, May 23, 2025
Wednesday, May 21, 2025
A tavola non s’invecchia
At a table in the center of the room Miss Nadoghy slow drew spoonfuls of minestra maritata to her mouth. Malinconico poked pensively at his baked ziti. Time stood still, but for only a moment.
“It’s a very special day,” she said contentedly.
And it was.
Wednesday, May 14, 2025
Friday, April 25, 2025
Wednesday, April 23, 2025
Friday, April 18, 2025
Saturday, April 12, 2025
Friday, April 11, 2025
Wednesday, April 02, 2025
Sunday, March 30, 2025
Saturday, March 29, 2025
Sunday, March 23, 2025
Wednesday, March 19, 2025
Sunday, March 16, 2025
Friday, March 14, 2025
Wednesday, March 12, 2025
Thursday, March 06, 2025
Saturday, March 01, 2025
Wednesday, February 26, 2025
Saturday, February 22, 2025
Wednesday, February 19, 2025
Wednesday, February 12, 2025
Mrs. Bilcoe Questions Local ‘Role Models’
I think it’s quite worrying that today’s youth are so quick to emulate our local foolhardy fraternals and their dangerous dares.
Just last year some neighbourhood boys were grievously injured imitating those ΦΟΚ fellows with their sinister metal-teeth contraptions.
I have thoughts.
Where are today’s role models?
We need more people like that nice Booth fellow who sells medicine to the needy down on Holeman Avenue. Or that lovely Qarinah lady down on Springrock Street who keeps lonely older men company out of the kindnesss of her heart. We all get the ‘lonesomes’ as we get older, let me tell you!
These are the true ‘influencers’ who take steps to better our community in the eyes of our youth! Not those furley college ruffians cavorting with goats and drinking beer and drugs!
C’mon, people — be better role models!
Sunday, February 09, 2025
Fraternals Continue to Let the Unfit Cull Themselves
Skippy, Scotty G, and of course the eponymous Keef himself often held soirées that explored such cultural frontiers as plaid goat rodeos, prawn precipitation parties, and most famously, the Bear Trap Socials at their stately residence on the Classic City Community College campus.
These young men and their future prospects continue to seek out new challenges. Indeed, they better mankind by allowing Darwin Award contestants the opportunity to cull themselves from a mindful and productive society — all without shattering any Overton windows.
Let’s hear it for ΦΟΚ!
Wednesday, February 05, 2025
Friday, January 31, 2025
Sunday, January 26, 2025
Hayseed 3.0
Friday, January 24, 2025
Thursday, January 23, 2025
Saudade de cativante deusa de Montego
Stepping off the train, he gazed incredulously up at the massive heaps of harvested sugar cane, each the size of a two-storey house.
The distillery tour was unremarkable — a dry explanation of boilers and fermentation tanks in the guide’s thick patois soon lost Stoddard’s interest. Maybe it was the air, the sun, the heat — the cloying stickiness of the sugar cane that suffused every breath taken in the humid tropical clime.
Even in his discomforting pique, his mind drifted back to the sands of Montego.
The goddesse layde, beckonende bihofþe the manStoddard stepped back outside but even there every draw of air tasted of hot, syrupy thickness. He again marveled at the mountains of sugar cane.
as the billows did crash upon the strand
“Young man! Take! Bless up!” The tour guide was suddenly beside him proffering a paper cup. “Di rum punch ours,” he pointed at the drink.
Stoddard stared at the pink liquid. What furley young man would turn down free alcohol in a tropical setting, let alone anywhere?
In his mishmash of queasiness and longing, Stoddard politely declined and headed back to the train.
Sche basketh in the sonne, and alle is wel
sche clepeth to me, and I desyre to answere...
Saturday, January 18, 2025
Classic City Arcade 0125
On the scene: Mr Dutch, Mr Freeney, Ms Moneypenny, Fake Keanu, Mr Skööls, Ballast, Mr Aloysius, Dominique, Larry X, Ms Noonan, Mr Garge, and many more...
Friday, January 17, 2025
The Trail is Afire on the Path to Dust
Today the harder one grasps at the Good Intentions excuse, the more obvious it is that the intent is not good at all, but just CYA by the Idiot’s Id.
That the outer rind of the ‘pod’ is more important than the content within is a repugnant enough weltanschauung — and now that Empty Pride is a casual admission (as well as goal), it’s clear that the putrescence has fully spread from the corrupt inner soul to that very outer rind of form, where flippancy and contempt are bandied without shame.
The seeds are now sprouting along the Path to Dust.
Thursday, January 09, 2025
Les messagers ont tué leur propre crédibilité
“Gokhos Sakima Lumivision continues to dilute important issues down into false dichotomies and pabulous morsels for public consumption,” Dr Eon noted.
“It’s expected that state-run planetary media would shill for the throne, but even United Planets Media is uncritically parroting GSLV’s unconvincing boilerplate. Don’t our media betters realise that force-feeding a low-value infotoxin diet to the public will eventually erode any remaining iota of credibility? I mean, who’s gonna swallow that shite?”
Well, Dr Eon, it’s usually no surprise for despotic regimes to consider their own subjects as abject idiots. But a crumbling galactic media that insists on both inflaming and mollifying their audience without informing deems the public as semi-morons just as much as the High Epopt does. Une dure vérité, en effet.
And so, Dr Eon, to answer your question about “who’s gonna swallow that,” we have a News Flash: No one is. And no one will.
This missive was republished from Eppulon Independent Samizdat and made available via subspace communiqué. Eppulon Independent Samizdat is neither licensed nor sanctioned by any governing bodies of the galaxy. No changes have been made nor original material added.