Johnny Gutts: “What I Know,” Part III

Orville Corporation CEO and Head Solutioniser Johnny Gutts made a brief foray into local public-access television on Heritageville’s Channel 13 recently for several weekly airings of monologues, interviews, and more monologues. Gutts’ unique on-air style was loved by some and criticised by others.
  “The Johnny Gutts Show” was suspended indefinitely whilst the Interplanetary Telecoms Union investigated charges against both Gutts and Orville after he was viewed promoting arms trafficking on air. A favourite segment has been his apothegmatic “What I Know” utterings, picked up from past interviews in Haute Fresh magazine.

Highlights:

“LEADERS OF INEPT and dying organisations tend to focus on the symbolic. No new logos for us!”

“I DON’T JUDGE a book by its cover. I judge the cover. And often I find it wanting.”

“THE THING ABOUT CLOWNS isn’t that people just hate them, it’s that people like to hate them. I learned this when I interned at a circus and I never looked back.”

“I DON’T LAUGH at things because they are funny. I laugh because they are absurd.”

“I OFTEN MAKE PEOPLE angry. But are they angry because I’m right or because I’m wrong? They won’t say.”