Sunday, August 17, 2014

Family Black Sheep and Media Muckraking: New Depths

Once again the Media struggles to dig up dirt on icons of industry, forward-thinking and entrepreneurship. Industrialist Johnny Gutts of the multi-national Orville Corporation often is a target by envious Frankfurt School media types with a crab bucket mentality, and shallow criticism is usually casually deflected.
  But leave it to this very media to plumb new depths of journalistic hackery.
  Mr Gutts’ slacker nephew Jared Gutts has bumbled into the news again with his half-witted buffoonery, and the Media again push untenable connections with family black sheep to foist attacks on the character of Johnny Gutts.

  Yes, Jared Gutts probably effed up. Running a half-arsed heroin operation under the aegis of “Mr. H‘s Piano Bar & Aquarium Supply” probably wasn’t the wisest front. The location itself might have been a giveaway — the Baxter District. (All his ill-fated endeavours are generally located in this area, giving rise to the term “Baxteritis.”)
  True — he and his tosser mates are getting arse-over-tit sauced and racking up ASBOs, but they are bringing a fair amount of commerce to the Baxter District, if illegally. “Mr. H’s” does offer “Experimental Piano Duet Nite,” “The LGBT Ragtime Rag-Off,” and “Sign Language Slam Poetry Nite,” as well as curated local art and vegan nibbles.
  “He is trying for an honest make at things. It’s just society’s fault,” sniffed Roddie Gutts, proud father of Jared and brother of Johnny Gutts, reclining in his Barcalounger in Heritagethorpe. “They still don’t recognise his genius.”

  Johnny Gutts could not be reached for comment.