And indeed, Dad and Mum are taken aback at the stark realisation that their “late-blooming” progeny have gone to pot, so to speak. That, and the blunt fact that dignity apparently isn’t hereditary.
So what are parents to do with their indolent, semi-adult children without having to subject them to Reality? (After all, that would be mean.) Fortunately, the Orville Corporation has a viable alternative: A “Safe Space” of sorts — one that both parents will rest assured foisting their offspring upon and one the kids themselves will be all too happy to “occupy.”
Orville presents the Classic City “Semi-Adult” Day Care Centre — a sheltered and secure environment that gently fosters “cocooning,” ego-balming situational activities, and attention counseling. This in-demand facility is tailored to all levels of social buffering, providing the curricular experience to minimise your child’s potential.*
The Classic City “Semi-Adult” Day Care Centre features:
• Purpose-Built Dayrooms with around-the-clock social media immersion and CCTV
• ‘SmartStudio’ provides sensory stimulation/deprivation cycles with De-Sense ‘Huffer’ Chambers, Refitted “Baby Swings,” Interactive Kinetic Art (cardboard mobiles on commission by struggling art students), and our Dance/Expression Space (featuring Orville’s ORV-X Pro DJ Console/
Baby Changing Station
• Snack pabulum options are loca-vegevore-friendly
• Sippy Cup refreshment options for Soy Milk, Mulled Chard and our own Blue Ribbon Smoothie
• Sustainable hemp security blankets and nap-mats
• Qualified Staff vetted through APF and OC-ScannTrust
Don’t forget the Orville Daycare and Pre-School Academy available for real children age infant to 15.
*Disclaimer: The behavioural outcomes of the Classic City “Semi-Adult” Day Care Centre’s conditioning of students will inevitably require corrective pungeoning sessions should guardians decide to transition their child back into the Real World. [Speakeasy-Style Pungeonary Bunker on campus (password req.)]