Saturday, October 17, 2015

Why is Baxter such a joke?

Leonardo’s Deep Dish Pizza. Húnán’s Zhōnguó Delights. Mr. H’s Piano Bar & Aquarium Supply. Xiā Xiăo Chuán. Club Frederick. All became a laughing stock in the end. Even P-Bones, the Baxter Street pungeonary, had found that their current location had a depressing effect on what is normally a lucrative business.
  The elders of Classic City commissioned the Orville Corporation to spearhead an effort to change the public’s negative perceptions of the Baxter Street corridor. Orville’s Chief Culture Officer (CCO) and Thought Leader Johnny Gutts had several suggestions for improvement...

Whilst commercial sector Baxter already has one pungeonary, there’s no reason other pungeon-related enterprises can’t ‘put down stakes’ here, as zoning regs are observed.
  Gutts recommends venture, corporate, and municipal infusion of capital, accessible to both the townie/trust-fund hobbyist market as well as upper-end franchise prospectors. Local and franchise businesses have made strides in thawing out their chilly relations with one another over the past years.
  Coincidentally, the Orville Corporation themselves have many a subsidiary that would appeal to each demographic, such as their Culture Transition Services™ — sure to attract the big 20-30 start-up market. (Even the BärteHansa dons would nod approvingly... and unironically.) The older, more-monied demo might be more interested in a SetUp™ boutique, an Orville Ancestral Confrontation Lab, or perhaps a Tauntini’s franchise.
  If Classic City and Orville can both marshal their resources, reassure citizens, and rebuild Baxter’s good name, there’s no reason this won’t resonate and engage potential consumers.
  “Baxter is the future of Classic City,” says Johnny Gutts assuredly.

Stay tuned.