What are you talking about?

(A top-shelf requiem to those who have suffered under inEppt management everywhere)

ONE HELL OF A WAY to start a work day, man. I am really baffled by your memo this morning which implies that I have failed somehow to execute my duties with respect to the Tiki Temple or, more specifically, a request from you to do something. On the contrary, neither is the case.

Please don’t mis-direct blame at me for deficiencies in your instructions, whether lack of clarity or lack of correspondence with reality. You have misrepresented what appears to be a misunderstanding on one or both of our parts, turning the situation around to suggest that I have willfully disobeyed your orders.

My personal feelings aside, I resent this undocumented, unjustified smear on my professional behavior, and I will not accept it.
I have no interest in the unnecessary, unresolvable conflict introduced by your tactic, except that the untenable and mutually disadvantageous positions in which we are placed be immediately abandoned.

Among other accomplishments during my tenure at Tiki Temple, I have familiarized myself with Idol Access, saving us from scores of angry spirits. By helping to keep our present anemic temple in operation, to the limits of its capacity, I have enabled our investors to comfortably reject the five-figure expenditures proposed for temple upgrades by your predecessors. I have used my familiarity to improve communication between the people and idols, which helps us in our mission. I have done all of this (save acquisition) without instruction, taking initiative to apply my talents where I have seen a need. I have received no training nor financial support — from this temple or elsewhere — towards these achievements.

What remains unclear is what you are asking me to do. I have plenty else to do. I’d rather I never accessed an idol for you again than have as my thanks the accusation of obstruction. If necessary, I will relinquish my access to this temple — and to all other aspects of my involvement here — to avoid having my name and professional reputation contaminated by implications of misconduct.

Just let it be clear that I have not failed to follow your instructions.
Also, let it be clear that you have made it my priority today — Tuesday, the day before the arrival of Tiki Prime — to respond to your accusation.

— Rev. Tiki Resbo

The crisis at TikiTemple is now over.
Pissed-Off Tiki was ousted — much as he deserved to be. Be assured that the temple remains by its cause and still strives to bring followers the best in Idol Access.