Mzungu parishioners who were out of town doing missionary work returned to discover the bungaloid festooned with atrocious neon colours and refurbished into a junk store called The Culture Vulture. Display Idol Assemblies and sacramentals had been defiled and slapped with price tags — an anathema in the eyes of many.
The APF had called in PATU units to successfully secure the premises. None of the omuyingirira squatters were present at the time of investigation.
In a press conference Tiki Prime spokesman Madoobe Oumee claimed, “The squatting interlopers from overseas are what we call ‘ababbi b’oku nnyanja ab’obuwangwa.’ They cause many zibbs. They have no culture, thus they plunder from all they consider exotic in an attempt to appear worldly, when they’re more parochial than anyone with their high omulokozi complex. This much we have gleaned from their social media blatherings.”
UAP Grand Gouvernor M’bwe’bwe signed a bill that puts penalties on alleged squatters. The law, which has already gone into effect, gives the APF, PATU and other sanctioned UAP bodies the right to immediately commit squatters to local pungeonaries.
Parishioners and citizens have spearheaded a “Restore the Bungaloid” movement to help revivify the temple extension and reinstate Idol Access. Soon enough people of the Ugandoid Autonomous Prefecture will again be able to commune together in a Kind Sesh.
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